how to name your chinese kid. throw a spoon dow the stairs

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Ask me Whats 2+2. ? Ok what's 2 plus 2 4 you dumb ass

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp.

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What's black and white and red all over and can't go through a revolving door? A nun with a spear stuck in her head.

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What's 1+1? 69.

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Two monkeys are sitting in a tree. One monkey looks to the other monkey and says, "I bet I can jump from this tree to the next tree without falling." The other monkey replies, "I'm sure you could. You're a monkey."

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News of the day - David gives back 2 pounds to someone. The police, as he stole from a old nana to pay for a toothbrush

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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What can fit between breasts? Is long? And gets hard when you jerk it? A seatbelt.

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Teachers be like "Hold on class, I am almost done with my lesson!" Students: " Aint nobody got time 4 dat!"

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Why were 50 police officers in the supermarket? A tsunami had struck and they were cleaning out hundreds of bodies

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a lollipop? 782

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What does a handsome guy and an ugly girl have in common? Nothing

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A: Knock knock. B: Come in. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ?cash(p)

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Someone asked me "What rhymes with Orange?" I replied "Door hinge." He punched me.

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Knock knock! Just kidding.

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Whats worse than the holocaust A: not much

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Knock knock. Who's there? Me. Oh.

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why did the black man start crying? because his ancestors were treated horribly

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A Texan, a Mexican, a Brit and a Frenchman are on a plane that begins having engine trouble. The black box was never found.

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A man walks into a bar.. and has a bomb strapped to his chest

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Tell me who you are, who you are working for, I wont tell anybody, and I will have someone to hack this site on the hour and remove these comments, please.

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Homeless man....it's what's for dinner!

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Well neither has he.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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