Why was the baby crying? He had just witnessed his parent get brutally murdered.

Steve is getting paid $29.50 to bounce a ball Steve is getting fired monday

Why did the clown get in the car? Because he can.

Screw it you write the joke.

Why doesn't God like pizza? Because he doesn't exist.

Why did the black man take the watermelon? Because he bought it, and watermelons are delicious.

Q.what semtemce is a most used lie by a fourteen year old? A. Yes i agree to the terms of service, and am above the age eighteen.

Why did Batman brush his teeth? So he wouldn't get bat breath

What happens when a unicorn gets her period? You know it's a girl.

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Stolen.

Ask me for £1000 Can I have £1000 No get a job

what did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, They just waved.

What's worse than having a retarded baby? Not having a baby

Why did the chicken cross the road? So it could cause traffic accidents.

What do you get when you mix a Refrigerator with a dog? Nothing. That would be impossible.

An atmosphere goes into one bar. Which is pretty normal since it is roughly the regular value of the atmospheric pressure on Earth at sea level

What is white and can't climb trees? Toothpaste.

How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

Yo momma's so poor, she needs to work 2 jobs to support her family.

What's white and can't jump? A fridge.

Why do people carry around spoons? Because they like to do them

A Frenchman an Italian and an American were setting in a bar drinking and talking. The Frenchman said he made love to his wife five times last night. She said if I died she would never get married again. The Italian said said he made love to his wife ten times last night and that she said if he ever died she would kill her self. They asked the American how many times he made love to his wife last night. He said I'm a widower. She died in the 9/11 attacks.

Who let the dogs out? The dog's owner.

What's the hardest part of walking through a pile of dead babies? My penis.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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