Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's. Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Chris. Chris who? Wow, I thought we were better friends than that.

my own dog bit my penis off, it was then put down. it was the worst day of my life.

What can hurt you if you pee on it? A rabid grizzly bear

If life hands you melons. Your probably dyslectic.

what did a poor guys get for christmast ? brain tumor.

today in aa we were telling stories one of them was: that a girl put a wet cat (to dry it) in the oven

What did one cannibal say to the other cannibal? Nothing, because he was eating him.

WHAT DOES A NUMBER DO WHEN IT'S HORNE? MATHDERBATION

What's worse than shitting whilst fucking? Losing your eye! Kelvin Yang

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm not good at rhyming turd

Two men and a woman go to lunch together at a restaurant in New York City. The first man says, "I'm glad that we're finally doing this." The second man says, "Yeah, me too." The woman concurs.

Why did the black guy get a boner? The nitric oxide levels in his trabecular arteries and smooth muscle of his penis rose, causing his arteries to dilate and therefore enlarging his penis.

What does a weasel and a naked college girl have in common? No clothes

What's the difference between a panda and a baby? I don't have a baby in my freezer

Why did the guy go to the store? He really doesn't want you to know every detail of his life.

Why did the boy drop his peanuts and crackerjacks? He had a sudden heart attack and died at the age of 10

Did you hear the joke about the man and the serial killer? Neither did the man since he was stabbed repeatedly and thrown into the bottom of a lake.

Why did the catfish cross the road? Catfish can't walk.

What did the hooker say to the black guy? How long do you want it for?

Why did the computer explode into a million peices? It was thrown off the Empire State building.

Do you know what the forest fire got for Christmas? Your house

Why did the mouse cross the road? Because he had been attached to the chicken with a nail gun.

What did one muffin say to the other muffin Holy shit a talking muffin

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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