Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

Why the african children was sad? - Because an octopus bite his arm

what do you get when you you put a knife in a head? a dead body

A man walks into a house, and the next day was taken to the hospital for a minor concussion and a possible vision deficiency.

Why did the German burn the Jew? Because he dropped his tea.

In Soviet Russia, you drive the car, fill it up with gas, and park it. Just like in America.

What is the similarity between John W. Booth and Pee Wee Herman? They both got arrested for shooting someone in the back of the head in the theater.

This guy gets on a plane and leaves he takes a bite of a green Apple and says to sower then he takes a bite out of a red Apple and says to sweet so he takes a bite of a gernade and says to crunchy so the plane lands and he walks past a little boy crying and says little boy why are you crying because a green Apple came down and hit my dog in the head so he's walking along and sees a nether boy crying and says little boy why are you crying cause a red Apple came down and hit me on the head so he's walking along abd sees a little girl laughing little girl he says why are you laughing cause I farted and the building be hind me bluw up lol ????

"I'm so hungry!" "Hello so hungry, I am Matt. You must come from a very odd family if your name is " so hungry"!

How do you get McFly into a Mini? McFly are a four member band and a mini has four seats so it's actually quite straightforward.

What did the orphan get for christmas? Cancer.

whats black & white the colombo school shooting citv footage

Q: why did the white man buy a burge A: cuz he was hungry

If you have three ice-cream cones, and you give away two, how many do you have left? Why would you give away your ice-cream? Eating it is the better option.

What do you hear when the world trade center collapsed?, no seriously I wasn't even three yet.

My ex wife looks like a pitbull.

What did the legless veteran get for christmas, The same grenade that blew up his legs.

In Soviet Russia, this type of joke would be considered evidence to throw you into the gulag.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!

What did the cop say to his belly? "Hey in there!"

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Not only did 7 have that intimidating look to him, but 6 had recently found out that he was a well known mob boss who also went by the name of Lucky Seven. he was in charge of a gang called The Prime Numbers. They had been terrorizing 6's city for sometime now, whether it was stealing, mugging, or even killing or vandalism. 6 sure had a lot to fear, but he knew things might turn out well, as 6 had a great ability to try his best and do what he believed in: Justice

Why did little jimmy fall of his bike? His grandma threw the refrigarator at him.

What does a boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a motorcycle nothing, I dont have either

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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