Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King. After being told politely that Big Macs were served at McDonald's and not Burger King, he walked out and drove to the nearest McDonald's.

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Fun Fact: If you lay out all of the veins in your body out, You will die

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That awkward moment when the moment is awkward.

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So a blonde a, a red head, and a brunette crash land on an island, they all died within a week...

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Knock knock Who's there Why? Why who? Why so serious?

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A black man bites into a watermelon. Just kidding he was white.

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Why couldn't the little boy tie his shoes? He had no arms

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12345678910111213141516171819whatcomesnext

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Knock Knock? Who's There? Sgt Constable Ian. Sgt Constable Ian Who? It's Sgt Constable Ian - I'm here to see you about your alleged rape charges.

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Did you hear about the kidnapping in Pennsylvania? He woke up...

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What's the difference between a grape and a duck? They're both purple, apart from the duck.

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This is an anti-joke. It is not funny because "anti" means the opposite of something.

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whats the same about a donkey and a horse? They are from the same animal classification group.

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Why did the dinosaur rent a DVD in Redbox about a sex? Because he didn't own a Blu-Ray player.

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Why did the wolf cry boy? Cause he was a pedifile.

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Why was the road crossed by the chicken? Because as an animal, incapable of understanding human languages and consequently lacking in education, it was unable to understand the convention of not using the passive voice in English prose writing.

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Immaculate Misconception - Motionless In White \m/

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Why was the chubby bird that you were staring at you angry. Because you were looking at him.

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happy birthday! Its not my birthday! Oh i just assumed from your smell. That doesn't make much sense does it? It does. No it doesnt. Are you sure? Yes. Oh. Do i smell? Like chickens. Oh. I wish i were alive. What? Bobbing for apples? what? You smell like a toilet seat. Fine! You never spend time with me any more! I dont like you! oh. you know who nobody likes? Who? amanda burchell.

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A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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how do you make lady gaga cry you poke here face then rape here.

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Why was chuck norris the anti christ? Christianity was being threatened....

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What do you call an armless legless man swimming? Dead

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What is the funniest shirt Emil heskey has ever worn? A shirt that had this joke on it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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