What time is it Mr.Wolf? About half 5. Alright, thanks mate. How's the kids? Managing. Yeah. Yeah. Crazy world. Anyway, Got to be going. Yeah yeah. Say hi to the wife for me. Will do. Alright, Bye. See you later.

Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: A sad, unfortunate dog.

Your mum is so fat that she finds trouble fitting through thinner doorways

Why does the kid cries when he sees me? Cuz i took his lollypop last week.

hello what is this crazy nonsense site sl

Why did the racist guy die? Because the black guy stabbed him with a fork.

Guess what else smells like tuna!?! A dead tuna fish in a can

Whats Jewish and Funny? A Jewish Comedian.

How do you kill a dead baby? You can't, it's already dead.

The snails are salting one by one Hurrah! Hurrah! They fizzle up until they're gone Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting two by two Hurrah! Hurrah! They melt until there's only goo Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting three by three Hurrah! Hurrah! Some shells and slime is all I see Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting four by four Hurrah! Hurrah! We shaker-salt them even more Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die!

How do you make a baby understand what you want? You color yourself purple, wear a yellow shirt, and do cart wheels while singing "The wheels on the bus go 'round and 'round!"

Q: What is black and can't support a family? A: A bowling ball

Why did the boy stop working on a farm? His country became more economically developed.

Hey guess whats funny? Matthew Mcconaughey Oh wait, never mind

What's worse than a bag of dead babies? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Jews.

Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Because he died.

A black guy walks out of a house with a t.v. He proceeds to put it into a moving van and moves into his new house.

What did the fish say to the octopus? nothing... fish cant talk.

What is hard, long, moist, and flesh colored? A hotdog you dirty, dirty bastard!

What's scarier than a ghost? Ur mum.

I once was an adventurer like you. But then I quit.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who let the chickens out?!

Knock Knock. Who's there? ...(No answer)

What came first, the chicken or the egg? Well, to tell you the truth, I think that the chick-fa-lea came first.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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