What kind of movies do pirates like? They don't know, Somalia doesn't have much of a film industry.

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What do you call a penguin sliding down a hill how should i know.

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What did the paraplegic say when he walked? Nothing, paraplegics can't walk.

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Whats the difference between a baby in a comma and an iPod? I actually use the baby.

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I'm a burrito... With a big shirt.

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Why did the bus drop his icecream? He was hit by a boy

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why did the feminist cross the road? to suck a dick

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How do you confuse an English Professor? Light your pants on fire and flop around like a fish.

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Who would win if Chuck Norris and God fought to the death? None they are both fictional.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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Q. How many blondes does it take to put in a lightbulb? A. Cause of 7,8,9!

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whats the difference between a can and a fish?they can both swim. exept for the can.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill.

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The man said to his wife love hurts. the wife then progressed with punching in the face.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? I don't know what they said, but one muffin, had a knife.

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What do you hear when the world trade center collapsed?, no seriously I wasn't even three yet.

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i saw amango it splootered

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Damn, I was gonna do my laundry but Amanda Todd drank all my bleach

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Man 1: my wife has lovley perfume. She smells like a peppermint cream. Man 2: Yeah, I know, I spent eight hours shagging her last night.

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So a guy walks up to a gay guy and says: "You are a fag." The gay guy says: "That is very offensive, you jerk." So the guy says: "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know what it meant" and the gay guy says: "I accept your apology." Then the gay guy crosses the street and gets hit by a bus

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What the difference between a circle and a triangle? You're an idiot if you don't know the difference.

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He who laughs last gathers no moss.

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Katy perry isn't on clould nine because it's physicaly impossible to stand on water persipitation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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