Whats the difference between the Taliban and a Football Team? I'm not on the football team.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Oh..wait...that's actually an anti-joke already...

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How did the chewy cross the road ? it was stuck to the chickens foot.

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What did the man say when he lost his car? Where the fuck did my car go

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Why did the little boy fall off his bike? His mother threw a washing machine at him.

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I may be ugly, but I'm also dumb.

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Knock Knock! Who is there? I am the milkman and I have your milk.

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Yo momma so fat, when she walks she wakes the dead -Ryan Vallee

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What is pink and fuzzy? Pink fuzz

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What's green and invisible? Nothing; green and all other colours of the rainbow have wavelengths that occur specifically in the visible range of the electromagnetic spectrum. Therefore any invisible object cannot be green.

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What did the man give his wife for her anniversary? Nothing. The man is a raging alcoholic and forget her anniversary due to his high alcoholic intake during the past few weeks. Even if he did remember he most likely didn't care after seeing his wife cheat on him with another woman putting his marriage into shambles.

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What's white and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A refrigerator.

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A woman sees a sign on a store that says "husbands for sale." Curious, she walks inside. The clerk says "These men will be perfect husbands, they'll cook and clean for you and see to your every need." Shocked, the woman calls the police and reports the store for human trafficking.

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How many wheelchair users does it take to change a light bulb? - They are not physically capable

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Ernie: "Hey Jim, how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?" Jim then breaks down and cries deeply at Ernie's question as the fact that he was born without a tongue continues to slowly tear him apart.

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Whats included in over 90% of all car crashes? A Car

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it was cooked with eleven herbs and spices.

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What happened when the man turned on his TV? It was tuned to the Discovery Channel

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. The Clouds are white. Thank God I am too.

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What does an orange and a lemon have in common? They are both orange, exept lemon

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What's brown and sticky? "A stick?" No, poo.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.

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how do you tune a piano, you dont, piano tuners tune a piano, I wasn't talking to you!

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Knock knock. Who's there? There's no need to ask this question due to the fact that most homes are built with peepholes nowadays.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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