Why did the chicken walk across the road? Because chickens cannot fly

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released in a nearby park in a safe and risk free process.

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How many Chinese people does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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What did the orphan boy get for Christmas? Cancer. What did he get for his birthday? He didn't make it that far...

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Whats the defination of cruelty

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Knock Knock Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interrupting Cow wh- MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

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How do you greet your great great grandmother born in 1738? Hey, what's up, hello.

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Why can't monkeys and kuala bears get along? Because they are two entirely different species that cannot communicate with each other...

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Q: What do you call a person with no arms and no legs ??? A: Stumpy

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roses are red ur face is too and if u r hot my penis is going in u

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Magic! Well not really, you see, people that are stressed have the tendency to remain far longer into the state of hypnosis because their body conciously and subconciously (I am typoing it, but I cant bother to type it correctly fuck it) seek out the state of peace that hypnosis gives more often. Anyway, I know another thing that helps relieve stress, cough... Now, did you know that if you push your nose upwards slightly, you will feel a finger between your legs? its because nerve endings are connected that way, give it a go.

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How many Jews does it take to change a lightbulb? Depends on how big the lightbulb is

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Whats better then a guard llama two Guard llamas

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because I pushed him.

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The schoolboy said to the bus driver, this is my stop the bus driver replied "no, we have a while to go yet"

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Chris Brown walks into a bar. And then is politely asked to leave as the bar owner also happens to be the spokesperson for an anti-domestic violence group.

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Why should you never attempt to rob Chuck Norris? Because he will beat you up as he knows self defense.

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I was thinking... Love conquers all right? Remember the epic crying video? Satan: Because... Some where deep inside... I still love you... God:BUUUUUUUUUUAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHAAAAUuuuaaaahhh... (Partially invisible effect hand of Satan pats God on the back) The universe is at peace with no opposing forces and I am Nerometal, not that asshole that claims to have one fist and is the leader of some sect, I am and will always be the original Moralman, my name simply happens to be Nero, and thats it, so I am not dissing the bible, why would I none of my business literally, but if love can be tha powerful eh?

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What do you call a man with a spade in his head? ...An innocent, family orientated murder victim.  X

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Why did Sally fall of the swing? Breaking news! An 18 wheeler has gone loose and hit a playground damaging a swing, 1 fatality and 16 children injured 5 in critical condition

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It is so hot out here, that it could melt an ice cube that was once in the freezer!

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In the time it has taken you to read this, a small African child has died.

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why could the black person jump higher than the white person. because the white person had no legs

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What's yellow and talks? A talking giraffe.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops