What do you say to a whore with two black guys? How much an hour?

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When life throws you lemons, Throw grenades.

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Why did the little girl pull her hair out? She didn't, It's a side-effect of the chemotherapy.

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What did the towel say to the other towel? Nothing, there was no topic of conversation.

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Why was the little boy laying on the ground unconscious? because I threw a fridge at him.

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Stalin and Hitler went to Kmart to buy mini-toothpaste. Because they schleifen schlafanned on their way to the country club.

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What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

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A young boy walked in on his mom and dad in their room lastnight They were having a leisurely evening playing scrabble

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Why shouldn't you try to pick up a live scorpion with your teeth? Because it could easily sting your face, or mouth.

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What did the cricket say to the fox? Cricket.

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Why did the pelican cross the road? The man did not reply because his mother recently died in a car accident while crossing the road. She also loved pelicans.

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What makes us laugh? Definitely not this joke!

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Keith figured gasoline burns, doesn't it? He was wrong.

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What do you call a man who's being followed by 18 black guys? Dave, he's going to work and is stuck in traffic

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Why does the Pentagon have twice as many toilets built as is legally obliged? Racial segregation

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Scratch and Sniff [________] smells like glass doesn't it?

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A blonde takes a test. She scores higher than her Asian friend.

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A man crawled up to a water fountain but fell because he had no legs

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What is worse than getting hit by a car? Getting hit by a truck

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Yo momma so fat that they've diagnosed her with type 2 diabetes and she has an extremely elevated risk of heart disease. You should really encourage her to try and eat better and get more exercise.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To buy more crystal meth to fuel his addiction while his wife and children starved in the public houses.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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