I have two coins in my hand that add up to 30 cents, and one of them is not a nickel. I accidentally dropped them.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? I'm a talking banana; what more do you want from me?

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Repeat after me... I'matote ulbu twad Now say that all together Im a total butt wad

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"Horse walks into a bar. Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from. So, you should probably leave."

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Is this your pen? I wanna go to school, bye!

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Why can't Anne Frank write a sequel? Because she's dead.

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What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino? Elephino. It just isn't relephant.

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One man asked another man what his favorite sport was. The man replied: " My favorite sport is golf." "Golf requires no physical strength, therefore I do not count it as a sport." Said the man who asked the question.

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Why did the cow fall Cause a fat kid pushed him over

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What did the man say to the butterfly? To the butterfly? Nothing. He was probably talking to himself.

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What would a gay, transgender, mexican man say to another? We could have butt sex.

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Let's play twenty questions. Alright, but I have to warn u I have piss running down my leg

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Roses are red Violets are blue There's suppose to be a fourth line.

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"I'm gonna fight fire with fire!" "won't you just get more fire?" "True..."

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 brutally raped and murdered 8,9,10, and 11 along with their families.

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You know what makes me sick? Bacteria

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So, Helen Keller walked into a bar....and then a stool, and then a counter, and then a table....

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There is no "i" in "team," but there are two in "indigo."

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Why did the blonde fail her science test? Because she spent all day at the hair salon getting her hair died from brown to blonde when she should have spent the time productively studying.

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Dislike if you are a prostitute

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your friend: i did ur mom you: jokes on u my moms gross friend:.....

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Did you hear about the dyslexic insomniac that stayed awake all night wondering if there really is a dog?

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If I am from Texas, where are you from? You know the answer? HOLY SH*T! YOU ARE A GENIUS!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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