How many Cancer patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Cancer does not affect one's ability to install light bulbs.

Doctor, doctor, I just swallowed a roll of film! That was an incredibly foolish and dangerous thing for you to do. I would be surprised if you survived another day before the chemicals corrode your stomach lining and release hydrofluoric acid throughout your body causing sepsis.

Why did the girl make a sandwich for her boyfriend? Because she offered to make lunch in order to save money by not going to a restaurant.

qu'est ce qui est petit et poilu? un asticot poilu

Two black males walk into the bar due to circumstances, one of them has to leave early to tend to his ill wife, and the other enjoys his night drinking and making small talk with new friends PS: the one above was wrong sorry :(

Why did two girls need one cup? they didnt feel like washing an extra dish to drink their coca cola

What do you call a blonde driving the wrong way down the freeway? Well that depends on what her parents named her, or whether she happens to have a nickname of sorts.

So Colton Yepma walks in to Accounting and proceeds to read jokes

What did the fish say when he ran into a cement wall? ....Nothing fish don't run What did the fish say when he swam into a cement wall? ...Damn

How do u get a baby to stop crawling in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor

Fat? Jesse Z

What do you call a middle-aged Polish man on Skype? A lonely man.

What did the towel say to the other towel? Nothing, there was no topic of conversation.

Yo momma so stupid she scored poorly on her SAT's in high school. She couldn't graduate college and now works a dead end job as a waitress.

Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and a Lepricon were driving 100 MPH towards a brick wall and crash into it. Who survived? No one, they all died due to the rate of velocity that the car was traveling at.

What do you call a horse with two legs? A kangaroo

So two people have conversation Luke: Hi Logan: Hi Snake eyes: ALHSKjagjdaoggj;jdjg;aj;kaj'dgajd Luke: You are so smart! (you retarted piece of poo) Logan: GAAAAAAAAAABBBBBBEEEEEEN

An asian man walks into a bar and lights a cigarette. He is politely asked to leave due to smoking being prohibited indoors.

If a large bear falls out of a tree, why would a giraffe also eat the cheese?

Why was the little boy laying on the ground unconscious? because I threw a fridge at him.

What's the difference between a pizza and a baby? I don't stab pizza 47 times in the chest with a chainsaw.

Knock knock. Who's there? Not your grandma! Cause she's dead! Come to the funeral

how many jews can you fit in a car? 2 in the front and 3 in the back depending on how many people decide to go

What's black and hangs from a tree? A tire swing.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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