If the camel has seven toes and the armadillo has thirteen, why does your mom pleasure herself to a picture of George Clooney ?

Q: What would happen if Chuck Norris was hit by an Astroid A: He would die.

If a tree falls on a deaf person, does anyone care?

Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Ok good, just checking. It would be a shame for your perishable foodstuffs to go bad.

"Did you fall from heaven?...Cause your face is really messed up."

when life gives you lemons you make lemonade when life gives you a homisidle brige you clearly have done something to make life angery

What did the salami say to the ham? Nothing; meat can not talk

What is white and black and red all over.

My dad calls me a son of a bitch and I'm like "hey! You married her"

Q: What's the biggest lie ever? A: Saying you read the Terms of Service

What's white and can't climb trees? Yogurt

You always hear of the 9/11 stories where people who work in the World Trade Centers were late that day or home sick or whatever. My mom also worked there. It was a normal morning, got up to make us breakfast, got us to school on time, the whole bit. After having to do all that stuff, she actually got to work on time, and she died in the attack.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the lesbian's house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

Midgets' mouths are perfect height for, kissing other midgets.

are you from tennesse? cuase you sure look like a f u c k e d up redneck

What`s that CREAM that comes out of you when your mom puts a WHIP on you with a switch? WHIP CREAM!

Why did god make women? Because women are equally important when it comes to the birth to maintain or species.

I just had major Deja Vu... Cool, Brett. No one cares.

When life gives you lemons, Life isn't actually a person so saying that would be irrelevant

How many kleptomaniacs does t take to screw in a lightbulb? What lightbulb?

what do you call a man with one leg? whatever his name is.

Why did Obama give a speech? Because he is the president and people look up to him

One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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