Two drunk drivers got in a car crash They both died

Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

What's green and invisible? Nothing; green and all other colours of the rainbow have wavelengths that occur specifically in the visible range of the electromagnetic spectrum. Therefore any invisible object cannot be green.

Whats big and blue and white and if it falls from a tree its sure to kill you. A fridge with a denim jacket on.

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You'd run away too if someone left the gate open and you happened to be a dog.

what do you call a shitty anti-joke? A shitty anti-joke.

Because the tractor hadn't seen the chicken.

Why did the Jew pick up the quarter on the sidewalk? Because he was going to buy a candy bar and was short 25 cents.

What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? You aren't married to a girlfriend.

Why was the black man arrested? He was tried and convicted in a court of law for being an accessory to murder.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

The new Minons film reminds me of most foreign films.. You can't undertand a fucking word they say and they're all yellow

Why did the chicken cross the road? It couldn't handle the stress and pressure of being a duck so it committed suicide by crossing a road and therefor being run over by a car.

What's funnier than 24? 9/11

what do u call a kid at school a school kid and i have enough of these anti jokes they are not funny

Confucius says, I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand.

Why do Jews have such big noses? They don't; To suggest phenotypic variation along religious lines is preposterous.

What time is it in Florida? Time To Eat The President Of The United States!

Two muffins are in the oven They didn't say anything.

Why did Lucy fall off the swing set? Because she died. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Lucy.

Why was the road crossed by the chicken? Because as an animal, incapable of understanding human languages and consequently lacking in education, it was unable to understand the convention of not using the passive voice in English prose writing.

Did you hear the joke about the man and the serial killer? Neither did the man since he was stabbed repeatedly and thrown into the bottom of a lake.

Why was six afraid of seven? Because chad makes babies cry.

What did the soldier get for his birthday? Shot in the face.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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