My girlfriend told me I couldn't satisfy her sexually. I told her she was beautiful and gave her flowers.

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knock knock. who's there? just open. just open who? you're really dumb aren't you

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Jamie Oliver eats a chip

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Will farrow now gimme your hentai"

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E M I L Y L Y N C H B I L L I E J E A N L A R K I N YEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

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why did the chicken cross the road it didnt it got eaten

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he needed to go home.

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Q.How many babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb A.Babies are to young to screw in lightbulbs

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Why did the bus crash? The driver was a loaf of bread.

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Knock knock. Who is there? My wife. My wife who? My wife is a prostitute, selling her own body for money so we can afford drugs for my son who has cancer.

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why did the kid burst into flames cause he lit himself on fire

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And if we met in 1780, I was a white southern aristocratic plantation owner and you were my dark skinned servant lady ... slave Whenever I could get away from the Mrs., I'd go to your shed and then I'd steal you kisses. But let's be serious, I'd still work you full time as a slave, there's a difference between romantic language and a complete disregard for socioeconomic trends.

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Why can cats jump so high? Cats leg muscles are different then ours. They work kind of like springs that build up energy and then release suddenly. Its kind of like a budgie cord. This gives them the ability to jump so high. If humans were built the same way, they could easily jump up on a one-story roof.

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How many babies does it take to cover a roof? Depends on how thinly you slice them.

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What's up? Up Adverb: Toward the sky or a higher position. Preposition: From a lower to a higher point on (something); upward along: "I climbed up a flight of steps". Adjective: Directed or moving toward a higher place or position: "the up escalator". Noun: A period of good fortune. Verb: Do something abruptly or boldly: "she upped and left him". Synonyms: adverb. upward - upwards - aloft - above - upstairs - overhead preposition. on - upon - over - along - with adjective. rising noun. ascent - rise - upgrade verb. raise - enhance - increase - lift - rise

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why didn't the chicken cross the road? It was very unhealthy, and had a heart attack attempting too

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A black man walks up to a white man, and the black man says YO DIGGITY DAWG WASSAP FO DRIZZLE PLAYA BEEP BOBOTY BOP. And the white man stands there, confused as to what the black man said.

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Is it closer to Minneapolis, or by bus?

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black chicken. kfc

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Grass is green, Clouds are white.

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so i was on anti joke and i read a joke, it made me laugh.

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what did the black, asian and jew have in common? Believe it or not, they all liked cantoulope.

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whats red, sits in a corner and is slowly getting smaller and smaller baby with a cheese grater whats green and sits motionless in the corner same baby 2 weeks later

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Did you hear the one about the guy who couldnt find his shoes? No? ok ill talk to someone who will get the reference

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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