How did Jimmy lose seven pounds? I killed him.

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Mother Theresa, Billy Graham, and Joseph Smith walk into a bar. Just kidding, no they didn't.

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How Many Women Does It Take To Parallel Park A Car ? Zero , The Husband Drove

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Why did'nt the puppy eat it's food? Because it was made up of little bits and peices of it's family.

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How do you confuse a bar tender? You ask him how tender he is.

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What`s the best part about twenty-three year olds? there are twenty of them

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What's worse than the Holocaust? ........finding a worm in your apple.

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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Why couldn'nt Sally swing on the swing? Because Sally was a carrot

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Q: What did the Rabbi say to the butcher? A: "Do you have the time?"

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Why don’t stores sell mouse-flavored cat food? It’s a matter of marketing; tuna, chicken and liver flavors sound much more palatable to the humans buying the pet food.

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How do you beat Princess Diana in a car race? Challenge Princess Diana to a car race.

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Do you want to hear a joke? Well you can't because you are reading this

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What's black, blue, and read all over? The newspaper.

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How do you stop a baby falling down a well? Throw a javelin through its forehead.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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FUCK YOU

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What's the deal with airline food? Food tastes different on an airplane. The atmosphere dries out your nose, the air pressure numbs 1/3 of your taste buds, and low humidity levels give you cotton mouth. These factors cause the food to taste worse than it normally would.

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whats fun,atracks children and says wrape van on it my van i lied about it being fun

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Just so you are warned here folks, some of the jokes down here are really nasty, like you know... Antijokes... But luckily you got my family friendly stories about sex, incest, panties, grenades, dripping Meows, yeah... Regular family show stuff... IT HAPPENS TO US ALL! Right? Please tell me right? Riiight? Right? Yes? Phew, okay, for a moment I actually thought you where gonna tell me I was normal...

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A guy walked into a restaurant. He sat down and had a lovely meal left the restaurant got in his car and went home. The End

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Hey, you are competitive, but let me have the last word here and you will like it. If you keep poking your nose constantly, the effect will actually overlap, making it stronger and stronger, by all means though, make sure you keep some nose working alright?

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Yo mama is so stupid... She didn't graduate high school.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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