What do you call a dear with no eyes? A no-idear

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What is the difference between Switzerland and Sudan? One is in Europe the other is in Africa

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What do you get when you mix a donkey with a bungee cord? My bouncy ass

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What's more epic than a man in a gorilla suit? A man i a gorilla suit with a banana.

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Why did the chicken cross the dairy farm? Sex.

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What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

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One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

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HAVE A GOOD DAY. DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO.

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Once there was an egg by the name of Steve. His name was Steve the Egg.

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An Indian, American and French man walk into the bar simultaneously. Unfortunately, they get stuck in the door.

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road? It didn't.

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Why was the wife laying on the ground crying? Because she wasn't in the kitchen making a sandwich for her husband

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Yo momma so ugly, she couldn't fulfill her dream of being a model.

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead are taking a chemistry exam. They each get a solid B on the test.

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What did one butthole say to the other butthole? I'm actually not sure. I wasn't there when he said it.

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What succeeds most of the time? The population of a field with grass.

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What do you call black man flying a plane? A pilot you racist bastard

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How much does a polar bear weigh? about 900 pounds

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guess what my weiner dog did last night? pooped in my bed

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What happened to the asian when he took viagra? He got an erection.

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how do you wake up a cat? you break it.

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Two guys walk into a bar, but the third guy is a duck.

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he has a great career and a loving family.

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Two muffins were in an oven. The first muffin says: 'It sure is hot in here!' The second muffin says: 'Why are they only cooking two muffins?'

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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