- Anti Joke

A Blonde Goes On "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire"

Why did Lucy fall off the swing set? Because she died. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Lucy.

what's the difference between an abortion clinic and my basement? there are more dead fetuses in my basement

What do you call a black man on the moon?? Never going to happen

Whats worse the losing your 3 kids, your lovely beautiful wife, and your trusty dog, all your belongings and in a house fire while you're at work? Nothing

Why did the man hit the little boy? His brakes failed.

When is a door not a door? When it is thrown away. Then, it will likely decompose in a landfill or be recycled into another product. In either case, it will no longer be a door.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a gun, get in the van.

What's long, dark, and smelly? The unemployment line.

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Why do birds suddenly appear? Because they can fly

What is yellow, has wheels and lies on its back? A school bus after a horrible traffic accident.

My Friend Philip had his lip removed today. he is just Phil now.

What's worse than a crying baby on a trans-Atlantic flight? A hungry lion on a trans-Atlantic flight.

How do you get children to behave? Chop them up.

Ed has spent all his days on the farm. It was the farm of his father and grandfather before him; long have they prospered from the fruits of this land. He has a wife and 3 beautiful children, all of whom live happily on the farm. Ed still manages to keep an active social life, and has lots of interesting friends. His best friend is Moe. As a young man, Ed had spent a few years living in the city for his studies. Moe lives in the city, and he knows Ed from College. One day, Moe came out to the farm to have lunch with his old friend. After lunch, he and Ed took a walk around the farm. They passed by the horses, the chickens, the pigs and finally they came to the cows. Ed looked at Moe, and he saw that he was focused intently on a single cow. "What's the matter, Moe?" he asked. "That," Moe said, "is one skinny cow."

Let's say you're inside a building and you are lost. You need to find directions to get out. But the building is so big almost like a maze or labyrinth. You start walking until you see 2 doors and each door is guarded by a man. Now in between the 2 doors is a message on the wall. It says: "Dear friend, I assume that you are lost and want to get out. There is hope! You have an option to choose one of these doors guarded by these men. You may ask one of these men which door leads to freedom. However, 1 guard ALWAYS tells a lie and 1 guard ALWAYS tells the truth. If you are to choose the wrong door, you will be locked in the building forever. So choose wisely and ask the right question. Good luck! Sincerely, the owner of the building." So you think to yourself and try to figure out what the hell did you get yourself into. This is a very tricking situation. You have one liar and one honest man. How can you tell which is lying and with is telling the truth? After minutes of confusion and thinking, you have finally decided to ask one guard a question. ----spoiler alert----- So you ask the guard one question. "What would the other guard say is the door to freedom?" The guard said "This door" You choose the opposite door and you are now free. The End [Explanation: You have 2 doors. Let's say door A is losing and door B is winning. If you ask the liar what would the other guard say, he we lie and say door A. So you pick the opposite door, which door B and you win. Now if you ask the truth teller what would the other guard say, he we tell the truth and say the same answer, door A. So you pick the opposite door and win]

Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If it wasnt for christmas We would all be jewish.

What do you call a jew in an oven? A safety hazard

Why did the baby fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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What do you get if you mix a baby with a blender? A prison sentence.

What did the cat say to the dog? Miaow. What did the dog say to the cat? Miaow.

Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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