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A knock knock B who's there A nobody

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Why wouldn't Julius Caesar like olives on his pizza? Because he's dead.

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A man walks into a bar. Ow

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Why was the little girl crying in the woods at night? There was psychotic killer chasing her with a chainsaw.

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What do you call an arab with a beard? How cares what his name is just shoot him!

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What's black and white all over and has a mouth? A Zebra

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So let's pretend two men that had been friends for a very long time, one man asks the other man how he is, so the man tells the other man how he is doing. Then that man asks the other man how he is doing. The two men were engaged in a very interesting conversation. What did the men do next? Nothing. We're pretending, remember?

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How many fat people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Three. One to hold the ladder, another to screw it in. The third one stands to the side, just in case it breaks.

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him and got better.

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What does a blond do when she stops at a red light? She gets arrested.

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life is like a rapist. sometimes they're nice other times, they ram you in the ass.

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What do you call a black man in green shoes and a yellow hat ? Nothing,thats just him pursuing in his own regular casual outfit there for you would just notice him as a normal man walking around with shoes and a hat on so there is nothing to call him

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A sad guy walks in to a bar and the bartender asks, what's the matter? The guy responds, I just found out i'm deaf

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roses are red vilotes are blue i thought i was bent but then i met you

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? A= Were both lawyers! What happens every sixty seconds in the us? A= a minute passes!

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What do you call an African American sitting on a park bench? Elephant-man (I forgot to mention, he has a giant elephant trunk)

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What happens when you shoot someone? They die.

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There were two blondes at an ATM. One was entering her PIN number and the other one says, "Haha! I know your password! It's ****!" The other one replies, "Haha! No, it's 1358."

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What did the coat say to the dog? Nothing, the coat was inanimate

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I like my wine like I like my women. Not at all.

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How do you prevent a drowning..? A: You don't throw the black man in the portwater

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Two antennas falls in love. They get married. The wedding was horrible, but the reception was great.

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Why could the grandma chew? She couldn't she had no teeth

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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