If life gives you lemons, you're setting up a bad joke

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A man walked into a bar. Ouch! He tripped over the little step at the entrance. But don't worry, he's not hurt, it just startled him for a second there. They should put a caution sign out front, somebody might get a serious injury. You can never be too safe, after all.

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why do police kill so many young black men in America? it's a difficult question that deserves a thoughtful response. many complex issues are at play, but we also feel a sense that something must be done. we cannot ignore some of the forces at work here, yet we cannot all personally take responsibility, either. or maybe he wanted to steal his girl. that shit really happens. THAT SHIT LEGIT HAPAPNES.

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How can you ruin someone's day? Tell them their mother has cancer. No really, I found out my mom has cancer a week ago.

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was stressed & having alot of financial, mental and physical problems so he crossed the road in hope to kill himself. And he did he got ran over by a car, may his soul rest in peace.

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What do an airplane and a grape have in common? They both have wings, except the grape.

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Why was little David sad? His father got hit by a truck.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead! Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was attatched to the monkey! Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? .....................peer pressure

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I know that a lot of people don't like morbid jokes, for it isn't everybody's cup of liquidized dead baby.

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How come Susie fell off of the swing? -because I hit her with an axe Coolhsoj

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My neighbours found out this morning that I'm a serial killer. Knock knock [L]

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What is small, red, and can't fit through a doorway? A baby with a spear through its head. Posted By: Lram

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(To the pretty girl at the bar) "Was your father a thief? Because I really would like to have sexual intercourse with you."

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Why are Indians so bad at football? Curry

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a truck.

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What did the frog say when it was attacked? Ribbit.

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hey I just met you, and this is crazy. I have alzheimers. Hey i just met you.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock Knock "Who's there?" Not Sally!

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How do you make a boy cry? Pour soup on his head.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? A present.

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your skull would make a nice pen holder

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What's better than winning a gold medal in the Paralympics ? Not being disabled

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Just checked my Tesco burgers in the fridge and they're still within the use by date.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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