Word Problem Q.John has 32 candy bars. He eats twenty eight of them. What does he have now? A. Diabetes. John has Diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A man is driving the speed limit of 55 on the highway. He gets pulled over and the cop says, "Do you know how fast you were going sir?" The man replies "Well yes I was going 55, the speed limit." The cop says, "No you were going 80." The speedometers broken.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What is blue and has to deal with a vagina. Blue waffle you know who has that Jews But the jews got it from the gassing and the gassing got it from hitlers wifes piss but the blue waffle came from the lesbian she had sex with when she was doing her lesbian phase but the lesbian got it from her father and the father got it from his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Your such a whore, you most likely cut your own clothes so people will see more of your body that they find physically attractive and make a partner for sex easier to obtain

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Before Marriage: Boy: Ah at last. I can hardly wait. Girl: Do you want me to leave? Boy: No don't even think about it. Girl: Do you love me? Boy: Of Course. Always have and always will. Girl: Have you ever cheated on me? Boy: Never. Why are you even asking? Girl: Will you kiss me? Boy: Every chance I get. Girl: Will you hit me? Boy: Hell no. Are you crazy? Girl: Can I trust you? Boy: Yes. Girl: Darling! After Marriage: (Read from bottom to top)

thumb_up thumb_down -6

whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting stranded on an island with your best friend and realizing several days later that you will have to eat him to survive. hours after eating your friend a boat saves you and now have to live the rest of your life knowing you ate somebody.................... oh and the Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A blonde, redhead, and a brunette are chatting outside a casino. The brunette directs a joke towards the blonde. "What's the difference between cotton candy and pork chops?" The blonde has heard the joke prior to this encounter and correctly completes it with sign language because she is deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Who would win if Chuck Norris and God fought to the death? None they are both fictional.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Your mother is so ugly that her physical appearance causes her to have a low self-esteem.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

You know what's a real drag? A club foot

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What does a banana and a helicopter have in common? Neither of them are a police officer.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why would Maria not have sex with Liam? Because she is Danish and doesn't shave and therefore is self-conscious

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Dwarf Shortage

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your pear.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Three blokes walk into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A teacher, a lawyer, and a doctor are all at the edge of the cliff. Then they jump off and die.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the farmer say to the chicken? Nothing, the farmer was arrested for having sex with a chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why is my phone bill so low this month? Because you have no friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

whats funny about four dead horses in a park ? the horses are dead!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Whats the difference between a kangaroo and a kangeroot ? Ones a marsupial. The others a Geordie stuck in a lift.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

why shouldnt you throw a rock at a black guy on a bike? Just because its not very nice.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Your mom is so ugly- Wait, hold on. How are you born?

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what do u call a joke with no punchline? A non-harmful joke

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What was the only thing the little boy from tanzania had? AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops