An Australian man walking in Manhattan is approached by another man who pulls out a switchblade and says, "give me your wallet or I'll stab you with this knife!" The Australian man hands over his wallet. A nearby police officer witnesses this the last moment of the mugging, arrests the criminal and returns the Australian's belongings.

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So two men were drinking beer and one asks "Why are you so sad today, Lenny?" The other man replies "Because I was just diagnosed leukemia." Four days later Lenny dies and his body was buried at Cherryhill Cemetery where his family mourned over his death.

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Why do chickens have feathers? Because chickens are birds and birds have feathers.

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Why was the doctor unable to perform his surgery properly? Because he forgot his scalpel

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What does a banana and a helicopter have in common? Neither of them are a police officer.

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What's worse than a fake bomb? Do I really have to answer that?

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Knock knock. Who's there? To To Who? To Whom.

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What's red and green and goes 500 mph? A frog in a blender.

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Why did the student fail his test? He forget to study for it the night before.

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What did the black guy do when he heard sirens? He Ran

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CJISTHEBEST Sticks and stones may break my bones because i have osteoperosis.

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what do michael Jackson and little boys do in the dark alone? they turn on the flashlight

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What happened when Glen jumped off a building? The rope snapped his neck. He died.

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really? are people insistantly so totally stupid? Now read that again and you may notice something. :P

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What's 1+1? 69.

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wanna hear a cat joke? just kitten

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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What did the fruit say when it was about to be sliced in half? Nothing, fruits cannot talk, duh.

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What do you call a black man with big cuts on his arms? You call an ambulance to help him!

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A black man "walks into" a club. Several minutes later he is dead. The police, in a later press conference, refuse to admit that the club ever left the officer's belt.

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roses are red violets are blue I lost my dog to typhoid it was an unfortunate case of bed luck

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What is the worst part about eating a vegetable? Eating the wheelchair too.

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Why was Jimmy sad he couldn't play the Playstation? He didnt have one

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Why was the man picking his nose? Because he was born without one, and found one he liked.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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