What do you call it when a multiple personality disorder person masturbates? Rape.

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There was a papa tomato, a mama tomato, and a baby tomato. Coincidentally, it was also Tuesday.

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What did the Mexican shoe salesman say to the man? Excuse me, do you whih way to main street?

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How do you confuse a terrorist? Speak another language other than Arabic

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Sammy bought 48 donuts. He ate 36. What was Sammy left with? Diabetes. Sammy was left with diabetes.

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Why do you have to write a conclusion at the end of your paper? So people dont have to read the whole thing.

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Why not zoidburg? Because Zoidburg is a alien from another planet and the human population is probally afraid to talk to him do to the potential danger of alien contact.

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What's the difference between a black guy and a white guy mushroom soup in my testicles belly Buton cheese.com ( tickle my. Nipple frog)

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Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson are camping out. After they set up their tent and get inside to go to sleep, they look up at the stars. Holmes asks Watson to make a deduction. "Well, Holmes, I think it's highly probable that other planets outside our own, among those many stars up there, could have sentient life." Holmes points up and says, "Someone stole our tent, you idiot."

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Why didn't Billy's parents get him any birthday presents? Billy was an accident.

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What's worse than seeing another antijoke with "The Holocaust" punchline repeated? The Holocaust.

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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why do elephants paint them selves green ..... to blend into snooker tables. have u ever seen an elephant on a snooker table .... thats just how good they are.

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What did the parents say to their kid? You're adopted and we don't love you.

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Why did Helen Keller cross the road? Hoefuwpugosihfioapfsoihosw[

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how come the tadpoles dad told him he can't be a nurse? he has 2 b a frog!

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what did the iphone say to the galagy s3? nothing they are phones.

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Q. Why did Sarah fall off of the swing? A. She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sarah!

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See what I did here? ;) Ladies, I just need some space okay? Damn Space Invaders... Ijustmetthespaceinvaderstheytookmyspace << DOUBLE MEANING!

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yo mother is so fat, the recursive function computing her mass causes a stack overflow.

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What's worse than 1 bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust.

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i am a slasher, a slasher of prices to get to the other side. poop goo goo gaga

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A man walks into a bar and is promptly sent out because he is under the age of 21.

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What do you call a deer with no eye? NO IDEAR!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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