What do you call a midget driving a train? A conductor

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -It's just Linda from nextdoor. -Oh hi Linda come on in.

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Why did the family sue disney? Because at a meet and greet location mickey mouse shot their youngest in the heart.

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Why did the kid lay down? Because his legs were chopped off

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What's the quickest way to a man's heart? A knife.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She has no arms.

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What happened to the alcoholic man that decided to never drink ever again? He died of thirst. Moral: Alcohol was the only available liquid in this twilight zone... Anti anti joke

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Why were the parents sad? Because their son had a frog stapled to his face and was trying to eat his ice cream on a swing, but he had no arms so he dropped his ice cream into the street and he chased after his ice cream and got hit by a bus

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Two black guys walk into a bar. The bartender says "what are you doing here" and the black guys say "to get a drink"....

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I'm rubber and you're glue, neither one of us say anything because inanimate objects can't talk.

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Why did the little boy let go of his balloon? Because I was raping his face.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, as it was a busy highway it was hit before making it to halfway.

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Q: How do you make a plumber sad A: you kill his family lolololololololololol

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My grandmother just called to tell me she was dying................. to have sex with me.

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hey i jut met u, and i have alzeihmer, cheese and toast

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You know what sucks? A vacuum.

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what did the food critic say when he was handed a snickers? I'm allergic to peanut butter

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whats better than 1,000,000 dollars? 1,000,001 dollars

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hey guess what? what ur gay! how did you know ive been in the closet for 5 years!?

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Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

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Why didn't the woman have a penis? Because she was female.

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman asks "Why the long face?" The horse takes offense and replies "I was born like this."

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Q: What did the black kid get for Chirstmas? A: Your bike

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Why is the old lady crying? I threw a fridge at her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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