The umpire asked the baseball coach "Who is that on 1st base?" The baseball coach said "Who." The umpire said "Yes, that's what I'm asking." The baseball coach handed the umpire a list of his players to avoid any further confusion.

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Mary had a little lamb, But it couldn't stop her from being raped.

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Why did the lion get lost? Because the jungle is massive

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A man walks into a bar. He bumps his head on the iron and has headaches for a week.

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What did Bob say at Fred's house? "I know where Fred lives."

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What happened to the pleasure robot he pleasured someone in the pussy

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Why couldn't the little boy see? His eyes were closed.

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Your Mom is so fat.... When she's goes to McDonald's and orders 3 Big Macs the people standing in line behind her all look at her with disgust and a tinge of pity.

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One day, Jimmy didn't wake up.

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Two strawberries are sitting in a bathtub. One says to the other, "Can you pass the soap?" The other one says, "What do I look like, a typewriter?!"

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How did the chicken cross the road? Assuming the vehicles yielded to the chicken, it looked both directions before crossing then proceded across the street while staying between the crosswalk lines until it had reached the other side of the road.

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How do prevent a nun from walking through a revolving door? Put a spear through her head.

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I like my women how i like my coffee. Without a penis.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bar tender says" why the long face". The horse, unable to comprehend English just shits on the floor and leaves

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A blind man walked into a bar. Quite literally.

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An overweight person falls down the stairs.. They had to be taken to A&E as they suffered very serious injuries.

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How do you fit 100 dead babies in a box? A blender. How do you get them out? Tortilla Chips. hehehehehehe

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple Getting raped by a hose

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why dont black people celebrate thanksgiving? kfc is closed on holidays

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Why can't you lie to atoms? Because they make up everything!

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how do you make a clown sad? you push it off a swing.

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What did the magician's assistant say after the magician cut her in half?... Nothing. Her spine was severed and she died instantly.

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Yo Mama is so fat that she should probably make an appointment with a bariatric surgeon.

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's a free drink, you'll wake up in my basement.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops