Why couldn't Bob pick up his pen? Because a nuclear bomb just set off where he lives and it incinerated everything.

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Ask me if im a tree Are you a tree no

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Why did the cop stop a black guy with a Rolls-Royce? Because he was speeding while on his phone and going through red traffic lights.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because I pushed him.

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What do you call a guy with out any arms or legs floating in the ocean? Bob

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Why couldn't the woman give her sister a present? Because she just got eaten by zombies.

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God told John to come forth and recieve internal golry forever. John came fifth and recieved a toaster.

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Why did the mexican mow the lawn. Because the grass in his front yard is longer than he likes it .

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Why do undertakers wear ties? Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas.

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Q: Why did the little boy fall off the swing? A: Because he was hit by a bus, and then was raped violently. He is currently undergoing psychotherapy.

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Why was the asain studing? Because he had a 59 in math and needed a C to tay on the footbal team.

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Q: What is the difference between a potato chip and a frog? A: Neither one of them is a flower.

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Why was the man like a chimp? Because they are 96% genetically identical.

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Q: How do you make an mail man cry? A: Take his car and run over his family.

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Why was the man denied access to the college Because he did not have good grades in the past.

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Q: When there's something strange In your neighbourhood, Who you gonna call? A: The Local Authorities!

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Did you hear about the blond that jumped off a bridge? She died.

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what did Harold Camping say to the little girl and boy? "You and your parents are going to die today"

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because the monkey has a very weak cerrebellum.

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The teacher asked her class "What is 42 + 17?" Several hands were flung into the air. "71!" said Billy excitedly. "No, I'm sorry that is incorrect." said the teacher. "67!" shouted Carl at the top of his lungs. "Incorrect!" said the teacher. Then little Johnny raised his hand. "The answer is 69" he said full of intellectual delight. "Very good." said the teacher.

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Everything makes me look good, Rape doesn't look good on anyone, and it hurts everyone involved

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Knock Knock No solicitors

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A watch and a pair of socks.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I wanted tobe cool, But I look like you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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