What is the one thing you can never steal back? Your viginity.

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Tina: Mom, would you love me if I was straight Mom: Yes Tina: Would you love me if I was gay Mom: Yes Tina: Would you love me if I was Bi Mom: No Tina: Why not Mom: Because that's selfish!

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What did the girl tell her abusive boyfriend Girl: You broke my heart! Boyfriend: I'm gonna break your face.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing, because they weren't made. Cupcakes were made instead. Sorry, Muffins.

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What do you call a alcaholic walking down the street..... Roadkill

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sandwich. roller coaster. brain sprout. cholera, meander. time. rivet.porcupine. mayonaise. frying. x-ray forever.

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What's brown and sticky? A black man's dick after raping you.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer murdered his family

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What do you call a dead guy under the ocean? Murder.

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What happened when the lawyer went surfing? A shark came up and tore his leg off.

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give me a gun or i will shoot you i dont know what with but i will kill you so run run or i will come and get you

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Are you antijoke.com. Because you are a faggot.

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What is blue and has wheels? Grass- I lied about the colour and the wheels.

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Why did everyone die in the world? Its 2012.

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why was the jew shaking hands with a nazi? they realized their differences and were bonding.

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roses are red violets are blue start sucking my dick or ill kill you

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What follows 2 days of rain? Statistically more rain, but you'll have to check the weather report to be sure.

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Why was the teenage girl pregnant? She got raped by her dad.

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a blonde, brunette and a red head are all goin to jump off a bridge and turn into something. the brunette jumps and says fish, and she turns into a fish. the red head says eagle and bacomes an eagle. the blonde gets a running start, but then trips on the way off and she says shit and turns into shit.

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Why was Johnny sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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Why not zoidburg? Because Zoidburg is a alien from another planet and the human population is probally afraid to talk to him do to the potential danger of alien contact.

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What do you call a someone who steals from a black guy? A thief.

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red Paint.

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What's most weird about necrophilia? They copulate with dead bodies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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