How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to change the bulb, one to suck my dick!

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? I don't know what they said, but one muffin, had a knife.

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because pterodactyls along with all other dinosaurs have been extinct for millions of years.

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Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

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An Englishman, a Scotsman and a Welshman are all in the Great Britain Olympic squad,

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Why did the Alzheimer's patient fail the history exam? I don't remember.....

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A: What dose God listen to? B: Slayer. A: Trick Question, God=Slayer

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How did the Mexican cross the border? He couldn't he didn't have legs

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I just wrote three jokes on antijoke.com ... nope, make that four.

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Q:what do you call a black man with blonde hair flying a plane? A: A pilot

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what did hellen keller name her dog? answer: unnumnumnum

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A guy uses Google locations to find his friend Chuck Norris.

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Jack: Hey, you know what sucks? Jill: Vacuums Jack: Hey, you know what sucks in a metaphorical sense? Jill: Black holes Jack: Hey, you know what just isn't cool? Jill: Lava?

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What do you call a man with no arms in the middle of the ocean? Mike.

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Two kids are playing basketball. One says to the other, "FAILMUFFIN!" The basketball flies out of bounds.

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what better than getting an F on a test? getting an A on a test.

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A jew walks into a church. he wishes to be touched by God.

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Whats the difference between a black man and a bucket of shit? The bucket.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. Traffic was too backed-up so the chicken took a different route.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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mary poppins' handbag is full of fuckin dick

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Shark week? More like owl week. Hoo!

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Why were two black men fighting for a dollar that fell on the floor? Because they both lost their homes in the crashing market and have to care for their ill children that need money for medical expenses.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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