You grand mothers so old she going to die soon.

Wayne Rooney's face and intelligence.

How did a monkey fall out of a tree? He slipped on a banana.

my penis

Why does Chuck Norris always know the time? He bought a fancy new watch.

Why did the man yell? Cause he wanted to!

What did the magician's assistant say after the magician cut her in half?... Nothing. Her spine was severed and she died instantly.

How do you get a baby to stop crying? Run it over with a lawn mower!

A man walks in to a bar with a frog stapled to his head. The bar tender says What the heck is that. The frog says I don't know this thing has been coming out of my but for two days

What's the difference between a ghost and a dolphin? A ghost isn't a dolphin.

What's worse than the holicost? The ninja turtles

You decide, drink or drive. But don't do all 3 at the same time.

What's disabled and red all over. The kid I hit with my car.

Q: John gets attacked with a chainsaw, how many stitches does he get? A: None, Hes dead jim

Whats black and white and red all over? My wife, i constantly beat her and I should probably be arrested for it if she didnt love me so much

What happens when a Jew, a black man, and a Latino walk into the bar? The potential for racial humor.

Knock Knock Who's There? Poop. Poop who? HAHAHAHAHAHA you said poopoo

Knock knock. Get out!!

a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

What's the difference between a pelican? 28, because elephants have 4 legs.

knock knock. Who is there? You have. You have who? Your entire family in my basement.

Why did Jenny fall off her bike? She had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Jenny

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven is a serial rapist and has been harrassing six for months.

Why can't Michael Jackson work at a boy scouts camp? Because he's dead.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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