What do you call a kid without any friends? A Sandy Hook survivor

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I'm so punny.

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Why can't Hellen keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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Why didnt Timmy Go to school? He Died.

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what did the panda say to the poachers? please stop killing my family.

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Santa Claus and eight reindeers walk into a bar. “Hey, fatty,” the barman shouts. “Where’s Rudolph?” “He’s dead,” Santa replied. “I’m sorry to hear that,” the barman said, looking embarrassed. “Let me get you a drink.”

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Did u know that every 60 seconds in Africa a minute passes by?

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what did the fish say when i threw it at the wall. Ouch. Then the world ended because it caused a ripple in the fabric of reality.

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. One rainy night an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them out for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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Elise's parents have four children. The first's name is April, the second's name is May, the third's name is June. What's the fourth children's name ? July. Elise is adopted, and thus does not count.

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A man asks his wife to make him a sandwich, she proceeds to make a sandwich using rye bread, lettuce, two slices of tomatoes, a variety condiments, mustard and several slices of American cheese. The man eats the sandwich at a parade with his wife celebrating Woman's Rights.

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he was eaten alive!!!

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What do you call a newborn son? The proudest moment of your life. What do you call a newborn daughter? A disappointment.

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how to name your chinese kid. throw a spoon dow the stairs

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What happens to a banana after it gets sunburnt? It peels.

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How do you get McFly into a Mini? McFly are a four member band and a mini has four seats so it's actually quite straightforward.

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jack be nimble jack be quick jack is a parapeligic.....there's no need for more

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Your mom is so ugly she often finds it difficult attracting members of the other sex.

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What did the alcoholic tell his son? Don't do meth.

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A man walks into a bar and the barman says "Why the long face?" And the man replies "I am severely deformed".

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A kid finds a bag of heroine. He is a good Samaritan and asks the nearest junkie if it belonged to him.

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wat do u say to a guy with a 3.5 cm choad wats hot tater tot

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What is worse than getting stung by 1,000 bees? Getting stung by 1,001 bees.

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Roses are yellow, Violets are purple, im not color blind you just cant read.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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