Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

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Grace Ackerson

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? To visit the graves of his wife and only daughter who were killed in a car accident at the fault of a drunk driver many years prior.

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why was the pineapple bullied at school? cuz it was a pineapple duhhhhhhh

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What's worse then falling up the stairs? Ketchup

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Whats worse than the holocaust A: not much

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What did the cat say to the rabbit? Nothing, cats are incapable of human speech as far as scientists are concerned. Also, the mouse was having a bad day. Rutabaga.

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Q: why do orphans always go hard? A: because the can never go home.

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autistic kids rock

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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What is worse than finding dead parents? Not finding them.

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what do you get when you cross a jellyfish, a jar, and a brown crayon? i dont know, im not into genetics, and jars dont have genes.

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How did the black guy get knocked out? He was hit by a fridge.

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How do you get a clown to stop laughing? You throw an awe at it. Why did Sally fall off the swing? .....I missed the clown

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What's under there? I'm not falling for that one...

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A lost young boy walks into a bar to ask for a map. The Bartender takes him into a room and rapes him.

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A girl asks a Croatian bartender for a beer, the bartender replies, 'There is no beer in this bar.'

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What did Stephen Hawking say to his daughter? Nothing, his illness prevents him from talking. And letting a high-tech wheelchair make human sounds isn't talking!!!

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whats sad about justin bieber getting hit by a car and dying ? I wasnt driving the car that hit him.

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A Jew, an Irishman and a Russian walk into the bar and the bartender says, "Get the Hell out."

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What do you call a Black guy picking cottnon? A cottonpicker

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Q: How do you measure a ruler A: You don't.

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Q: What has no color, no shape, no size, and was born in your mind? A: The thought you just had about this anti-joke.

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what did one lady say to another lady we are both ladies

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops