Do you know what really hurts my feelings? Nerve damage.

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If life hands you lemons your probably hallucinating.

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Why do you never want to party with Lindsay Lohan? Because she's a drug abuser and a terrible influence.

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for christmas. A new vest and a puppy because his father got a promotion and a much higher pay raise.

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What make's a constuction worker drop's his hammer? MC Hammer moves.

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Jehovas Witnesses: Summer vacation edition reality show: BItch: Do you know Jesus? Guy: Goddammit you A*Beep*SSHOLES again! I keep telling you all this is m0thertrucking Spain, I know like 500 Jesus`s living in this town alone! *slams door* Moral: Everybody knows at least something about the goddamn Jesus! Ill try asking "Is he the guy that lives downstairs?" Next time and see what happens.

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Q: What is better than Vagina? A: Nothing

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So a baby seal walks into a club.

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What did Robin say to Batman before they entered the Batmobile? "Batman, I'm a necropheliac."

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Roses are Black, Violets are Black, I am Ray Charles

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What did the deaf girl get for Christmas? Nothing, she was Jewish

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Justing Bieber walks in a bar. Everyone shoots him.

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What happened to the kids bike? It broke when he got hit by a bus

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Why was Tommy late for school? He got raped by spiderman.

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A man in a state penitentiary drops his soap. He then picks it up and continues his shower.

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Amanda Knox walks home free.

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Sometimes while i am play my music loudly in my apartment my neighbor knocks on the wall He is slowly losing his grip on reality and believes the wall is a door

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You know its time to leave when she wake's up out of her coma and your balls are on her chin.

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Q: What did the boy say to the girl? A: Wanna go to homecoming?

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What do you call a black man? Rob

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Getting a handjob from Edward scissor hands

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'How do you make a plumber cry? Buy him a belt for Christmas.

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Knock Knock.

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Did the single mother survive the plane crash? No.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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