they say a rolling stone gathers... speed until it reaches maximum potential speed and cannot go any faster.

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Why was Helen Keller depressed? She was deaf and blind.

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What's the difference between a microwave and hamster? They're both furry except for the microwave

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Bill Bill who? Bill your neighbor. Can I have some flour?

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What do you get when you stab a six year old with a pair of scissors and a machete? A very angry, potentially murderous mother out for revenge.

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Did you hear about the guy that had his entire left side cut off? He's all right now. Dead but all right.

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Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

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There's nothing more natural than the coals under the fire...

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If life gives you lemons, You throw them as hard as you can at the nearest stranger. If life gives you melons, You're probably dyslexic.

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What did the T Rex say to the pterodactyl? ROIRWR!!!

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What's blue and can't read? The Pacific Ocean

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Q: What does Jerry Sandusky and bills have in common? A: They both come in the mail

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I was gonna make a gay joke but those are insensitive, and gays have feelings like everyone else

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Whats black and blue and red all over? A housewife that was recently abused by her alcoholic wife. (from will c. and jack f.)

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Why didn't the man give a location of the murderer? He was murdered

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What's worse than burning your tongue drinking hot chocolate? Being shanked by a homeless man.

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Whats the best part about having sex with 25 year olds? There 20 of them.

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What do a turtle an a bird have in common? They both fly except the turtle

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A man walks into a meat shop. Man: I bet you $20 you can't reach the meat on the top shelf. Butcher: The steaks are too high

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A man walks into a bar and is slowly tearing his life apart. maybe because he is drinking poisonous acid instead of beer

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Why did Biggie Smalls eat so much dark chocolate? His doctor suggest that he eat foods high in fiber.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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What did the monkey say to the Pope and the Queen? Good evening, Your Holiness. Good evening, Your Majesty,

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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