What wuld u do for a klondike bar? Nothing taste like shit.

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I.

How did Pablo get into America from Mexico? He drove here!

Why are Asians yellow? Because that is their natural skin color

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Get out".

What do you call a zebra eating Cheerios? A zebra eating Cheerios.

what do u call a hairy cow? Harry

What do you get when you mix a polar bear and a dog? A dead dog.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

Roses are red violets are blue make me a sandwhich so i can eat it

Ask me Whats 2+2. ? Ok what's 2 plus 2 4 you dumb ass

jack be nimble jack be quick jack is a parapeligic.....there's no need for more

What did Billy say to Jesus when he died? Nothing he went to hell. -Austin Conradt

What does shit smell like? Your maaaa

Q: What did the Jew get for Christmas? A: Nothing you dumbass, Jews don't celebrate Christmas.

Knock knock "Honey, could you get the door?" "I'm tired of doing everything here! Get you ass up and do it yourself!" "Well why don't you just go back to bar you whore?" "This marriage was a mistake, I'm going back to mother!" They divorced 5 months later.

A young penguin walks into a bar with tears streaming down his face. "Whats wrong with you?" asks the barman. "I've lost my Dad", says the Penguin. The barman asks, "What's he look like?"

How do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? You don't, the giraffe is a savanah animals and there is no physical way for a giraffe to fit in a refridgerator.

Twelve people are in a plane. One of them says: "Man, we really are not so many in this plane" Another one replies: "It's because it's a 12 seats plane." Another says: "Do 12 seats planes even exist?" Another one answers: "Of course they do." Another person says: "Guys, are we even flying?" Someone says: "I don't know" Another says: "Yes, we're flying, look out the window." Another says: "I have cancer." Someone reacts: "Oh, I'm really sorry for you" Another: "Yes, me too" Someone adds: "It's really terrible" Another says: "Has science made any progress recently?" The plane crashes.

How do you make a dentist cry? Kill all his family.

Q. A man walks into a library and asks the librarian for a book on suicide? A. The librarian hands the man a book on suicide

What is the sun's favorite day of the week? The sun is a mass of incadescent gas and cannot feel emotions; therefore, it cannot have a favorite day of the week.

how did sally die? she starved because she cant get in to get the nuggets.

What do you call a white man without a face? Dead. What do you call a black man without a head? Negger.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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