What did the german speech therapist say to his mute patient? There a few methods we can use to help you obtain the power of speech.

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How do you scare a lawyer? Threaten to kill his family.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, I have a dead body, What do I do.

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I used to be into necrophilia, bestiality, and sado-masochism; but then I realized I was just beating a dead horse.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My farts stink, And so do you.

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Knock Knock. Come in.

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What do you call a bad yo mama joke? your mom

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The awkward moment when you are reading these jokes and either it's not funny or you don't get it...

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Why does a gay guy come out of the closet? He can't see anything inside.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Too get to the other side. Duuu no one crosses the road to get killed.

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Q: Wanna hear a dirty joke? A: A kid fell in the mud.

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Why did the black guy die... Herpees he didn't practice safe sex

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

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For Chuck Norris every street is one way his way.

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What did the drunk man say to the average civilian? Blahaahahahahahuhuh!

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Its not a big mistake at all, if people do not want to get hypnotized you cant hypnotize them, or so I thought...

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What's sad about four children going over a cliff in a car ? Four children just went over a cliff in a car.

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Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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Q: Why didn't the bunny eat the carrot? A: The bunny didn't have any carrots. Poor bunny.

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Why did the cab driver talk about the Holocaust? Because he began to shart his pants while singing pocket full of sunshine as a royal blue pancake swerved across the terrain.

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We got him in about five minutes, the kid will already be exhausted by the point we get to him, r rather, he gets to us. Pretty quick for a small geek I got to say, the photography we got of him is an obvious Photoshop, but he seems similar enough I guess. I would call, but it seems someone has been messing with all other "Erron`s" homes and phones if I had not dropped mine, I would not have noticed we have been bugged for a while, pretty professional gear too,

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A man goes into a butcher shop and says, "I bet you 350 euro that you can't reach that bit of meat," indicating a cut of beef hanging above him. The butcher looks up and says, "No way." The man says, "Why not?" And the butcher answers, "I have a huge gambling addiction, after losing my family to it, this job is all I have left" The man leaves, ruing the silly bet he had placed.

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You no what the biggest lie in history is? Agreeing to the terms and services whenever you sign up for a website

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What do you call a white man without a face? Dead. What do you call a black man without a head? Negger.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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