If there's something strange in your neighborhood. Who ya gonna call? The Police.

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Hey! Do you like fishsticks? Me too :)

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police. The police who? The band.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock, knock Who's there? Not Susie

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being raped by a giant scorpion.

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what did the blind, deaf, paraplegic child get for christmas? other than cancer, nothing.

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What time is it? It depends in your location and time zone

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To mama so old, she might die soon.

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How am I supposed to eat soup without an envelope?

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What's worse than a fake bomb? Do I really have to answer that?

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War horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'why the long film?'

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When life gives you Pure Filtered Water, Sweeteners (High Fructose Corn Syrup, Sugar), Lemon Juice from Concentrate, Less Than 0.5% of Each: Natural Flavors, Citric Acid (Provides Tartness), Modified Cornstarch, Glycerol Ester of Wood Rosin, Sodium Hexametaphosphate and Sodium Benzoate and Potassium Sorbate and Edta (to Protect Taste), Red 40 Make Lemonade.

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Nebraska the farmland its the only place for me!! I love the corn and the corn loves me!! I live for the corn and the corn lives for me!!

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Why did the blonde stay in the five-star hotel? She had enough money.

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Looks like you are having a TUFF time recovering from the game.....lol.....

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What did the hispanic say to the black guy? I'm not sure. I wasn't listening because eavesdropping is rude.

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Two people walk into Israel. The first is shot on the spot. The second screams "I only have two pennies in my pocket!" Immediately he is raped by five Jews.

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A gorilla walks into a bar and gets a banana martini. The bartender thinks that this is peculiar, and then he realizes he is dreaming. He wakes up and tells his wife about this ridiculous dream that he had. His wife ignores him, and the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes that his marriage is in shambles.

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Gregory: Hey, aren't you that pretty girl I saw from the party? Jenny: Huh? Gregory: No wait, it can't be you. Because you are WAY prettier. Jenny: Aw, that's so sweet, lemme give you my phone number. Gregory: Okay I'm ready to copy Jenny: It's 1-800-get-a-life-loser Gregory: Biitch

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So i was writing a letter to my girlfriend on valentines day right ? So this is how it goes . " hey lisa happy volentines day!" my black friend walks up to me and says" its a mightyfine day out! " The moral of the story is... Tomatoes can't fly planes

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, my dick is hard, and it's cumming for you.

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Why was the little boy crying? Because there was a hair in his burrito

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Knock Knock F*ck of I'm watching p0rn

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What's in the sky? Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it's a helicopter.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops