What's harder to pick up, a football or an anvil? It doesn't matter when you lost your fingers in 'nam.

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Q: What do you call Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. A: two things: Their names, and a doctor because they are both in need of a nutritionist.

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Once there was a pig named Poga. When he grew up, he was slaughtered and made into bacon.

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What is a black person's favorite food? It varies from person to person, just as with any race.

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knock , knock That Was The Same Mistake That Ann Frank Made.

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Can a rabbit jump higher than a tree? Trees can't jump

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't she get up? She had no legs. Why did noone help her up? She was fat.

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Q. How many alzhimers patients dose it take to screw in a light bulb? A. To get to the other side

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Hold on, please hold on! I will explain, it is my name, but I don't know whats so wrong with it at all... Please give me five minutes, I need to use the bathroom, please don't go just yet, don't be mad at me, what have I done wrong now? I mean if you are gonna go to sleep or something please do not be upset with me.

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Your boat breaks down on the highway. How many squirrels does it take to eat a bannana? Squirrels do not eat bannanas but it would probably take a monkey 1.5 milliseconds.

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You can pick you're friends, you can pick you're nose, but you can't run over a pedestrian.

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A mexican, Japanese, and American man are eating lunch one day at work by the window. The Mexican says, "Wow! If I get a taco one more time for lunch, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The Japanese man says, "Wow! If I get a bowl or ramen one more time for lunch, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The American says" If I get grilled cheese one more time, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The next day, the mexican jumped off because he got a taco. Then, the japanese man jumped off for getting ramen. Then, the American jumped off for getting a grilled cheese sandwhich. At the funeral, the mexican wife said, "Oh if i knew he was gonna jump, I would'nt have packed it." The japanese wife said, "If I knew he was gonna jump, I wouldn't have packed it either." The American wife didn't say anything because she was hit by a bus.

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An old man, and his daughter are walking down the street. They are having a nice time, until the daughter turns around to see the old man lying on the ground in pain because of the crippling arthritis in his back that has caused him agony and discomfort for years.

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Why did the chicken cross the playground. He didn't. chickens are unsanitary to have in schools

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what did mohammed say to Jesus? nothing they lived in completly different time periods

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were at work systems r down

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Why didn't the jew eat pork? He was vegetarian.

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Knock knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witness

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What did the hobo get for Christmas? Hypothermia

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What do you call a giraffe driving a car? A danger to society.

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What is yellow and bright? The sun.

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Robin Williams walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? To which Robin Williams replies, "Because I'm going to kill myself."

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What did the man say when he found a bar of soap in his mailbox? Why is there soap in my mailbox?

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Grandma used to say "you only die once." Years later, I learned the wisdom behind those words.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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