Knock knock Who's there? No one ever mentioned someone named "there" it's me, Jim

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Knock Knock! Who is there? I am the milkman and I have your milk.

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A hasidic Rabbi and a member of Hezbollah enter a bar in a Jewish settlement. (No, of course they didn't.)

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Q: what's worse than getting the flu? A: getting cancer

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About numbers, it was 180 mg of valium... And I am going to live becausepeople got there in time, my heart never stopped because luck, the doc was only making a joke about me "having ingested enough valium to die at least twice". Sanders, I just got your girlfriend to agree to a threesome, if my banana ever wakes up again, AND WHEN... Thou areth forgiven, btw I sent him a picture of Line`s unshaved vagina, and a note stating: U recognize this? Find out more on horsehead network! Meh His name is Anders something Chattington, yeah for all that know him, guess whose finger is on her unshaven... Yeah, maybe you should not have messed with a guy that can have ANYONE. Ps: Then its your mother, then your sister which is 17 (and pretty 16 is legal here so fuck you Chatty!) and then I SHALL STRIKE THY WITH THE VENGEANCE OF A THOUSAND SUNS! Because you are forgiven, which I cant even remember what means, I mean I know I am typing my experiences here, but thats only because I remember by muscle memory where the buttons are, said the doctor... I can still play Snes emulators... Not, because my numb fingers cant click anything and Line is gone. I TOUCHED HER ALREADY YA KNO! YOU SAW THE PIC, My skin is tan, and... well you know she is here... The best part? She is totally okay with you knowing, sayonara pal, id watch the "fluor" in your mothers pussy the next time you eat it!

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knock knock whos there? ughh omg youre dying what yeah dear god ok ill call 911 no im fine its just a seizure ok get well soon

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Why can't black people swim? Because there are sharks in the lake.

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Roses are blue Violets are red It's fascinating what genetic engineering can do

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I have read and agree to the Terms of Service.

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What do you call a Caucasian in Russia? Russian.

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Roses are blue, Violets are red, I have to go to the bathroom now...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Oh..wait...that's actually an anti-joke already...

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What do you say when your hot chocolate is to hot? This hot chocolate is too hot.

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dyslexic's Untie

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To collect it's AIDS medication.

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What do you get if Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus have a baby? The apocalypse

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What do you call a bird that can't fly? an ostrich

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? HE WAS DEAD STUPID IDIOT.

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What's the difference between Timmy and a car? Timmy can be brutally murdered.

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Whats faster than a black guy with a tv? His brother who is a dentist and drives a fast sports car.

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What's better than winning the special Olympics? Getting laid at the special Olympics.

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- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - What? Son I can't hear you, I have banana in my ear.

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When the going gets tough... Commit suicide.

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whats funny? when isreal special forces hunted down nazis after ww2 and killed the fucks

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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