What did the apple say to the carrot? Nothing, apples don't talk

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What did the kid with no arms and legs get for his birthday? A bicycle.

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to change the bulb, one to suck my dick!

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what did the chinese man say to the convicts at the side of the road? so long gay boys what did the convicts do to the chinese man? nothing he was in a car

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What do you call a guy with a rainbow tuxedo on? A classy man that is very well dressed

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There is a horse sitting at a bar, and the bartender says MOTHER OF GOD!! What is this horse doing in here?!

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A bear walks into a bar. The bear is then shot by the bartender with the shotgun kept under the counter.

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What was Helen Keller's favourite colour? None, due her disability she was unable to see colours...

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What more orange that a lime? Most things.

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What's the difference between a Boy Scout and a Jew? One comes back from camp.

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why were the niggas in paris? rhetorical question. everyone knows they aren't french

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CAOIMHIN JUST BE QUITE

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What do you call the man with no arms or legs, swimming in the bay? Bob.

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How did the little boy die? A speeding moving truck took a sharp turn, the locks on the doors broke open and a huge office desk flew out and crushed the boy.

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Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

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Did you here about the guy who kidnapped Liam Neeson's daughter? Well, he died

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what's the best way to remove leaves from a tree? take them off

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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knock knock who is there who who who your an owl

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Hello, my name is John, and you are reading this paragraph. Find the mistake...

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why did a guy try to rob me? because he was black.

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what did the blind, deaf, paraplegic child get for christmas? other than cancer, nothing.

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What did the spoon say to the other spoon? Nothing, it is a spoon.

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how do you wake up a really old man? you dont, he's probably already dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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