What can be smooth but also rough? Endoplasmic Reticulum

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My wife asked me to prepare our son for his first day of school. He's a ginger so I punched him in the face, and stole his lunch money.

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knock knock whos there? ughh omg youre dying what yeah dear god ok ill call 911 no im fine its just a seizure ok get well soon

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How do you wake up lady gaga? You set her alarm clock for a reasonable hour.

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Why is the boy lying down on the floor? The chandelier fell on him.

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Why does the rabbit go in the hole? because that's where it lives.

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Q: How do you make Kobie Bryant cry? A: Kill his family.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

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Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

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Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn't.

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"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Red." "Red who?" "Red any good books lately?" Suddenly, the séance lost credibility.

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You wanna hear what's totally out of this world? The moon

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Hi, how are you doing? Good, yourself? Fine, thanks. Have a nice day. You too, bye.

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the other day i was walking down the street and saw a black man carrying a tv. i thought to myself, "hey that looks like mine!" but then i was like nawwwwwww, mine's at home...... shining my shoes -_-

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. You think they should have ducked?

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A dog says to a horse "Hey, why the long face?" the horse just looks at him.

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What do Muslims have for breakfast? Corn Flakes.

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What do you get when you stab a baby? A dead baby.

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one day a white guy was in detroit. it was very strange. nothing happened

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An Irishman walks into a club. "Ow, that was almost as painful as that time I walked into a bar."

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What's the one thing America's got but the UK hasn't... School shootings

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Q: I have a bed, but never sleep, I have a mouth, but never speak. What am I? A: Stephen Hawking

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How do you get a bunch of Jews in a car? You tell this family who happens to be of Jewish faith that they are going to be late for the birth of another family member's child. How do you get them out? Tell the mother had a miscarriage. This will make them promptly want to leave the care and grieve with the other family members for the lost child.

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A. why'd the chicken cross the road? B.a dog got hit by a bus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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