A man found out that he had hit the lottery and would be receiving 300 million dollars, but he had to fly to china to do so. The man took a plane to China from New York and would arrive within the next several hours. Meanwhile, in australia a god-cow was producing infinitely large amounts of concentrated milk. His milk was so infinitely large in mass that it collapsed on its own mass and turned into black hole; absorbing the entire Earth. The man never got to receive his money from winning the lottery

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How do you have se with hellen keller? Very sweetly

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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Why did the black man grab and tie up the white woman? Because the white woman was a serial killer who has been on the FBI's most wanted list for killing children.

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Question: What is worse then a worm in your apple? Answer: A number of different things I would imagine...

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what doesn't kill you makes you crippled for life because you lost use of your legs in a tragic car accident

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What's scarier than a ghost? Practically anything as ghosts aren't real.

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what's the difference between a pound of liver and vomit? £3.24

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What’s spotty, has three legs and is green all over? …well?

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were at work systems r down

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? Sara had no arms! Knock knock? Who's there? Not Sara!

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What did the hobo get for Christmas? Hypothermia

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You can pick your friends you can pick your nose but you cant pick your friends nose.

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What is worse than banging your knee on the coffee table? Tripping over one of the legs and smacking your head on the floor, causing a severe concussion.

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My mom told me I was pretty, I know now that she is a liar.

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Dylan: "I dont understand anti-jokes"

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Whats white and black and red all over? A panda that has just been shot by a poacher.

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Why didn't the ghost go to the dance? He didn't exist.

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GINGERVITIS! 1. redhair 2.freckles 3.no soul 4.depression/anger 5.gay JLR

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George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

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What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table isn't a whore.

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Haikus are easy Im happy when I write them Thats pretty much it

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You know you are really drunk if your blood alcohol Is higher than .08

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What do you call a guy with a puppy, candy, and a windowless white van? You're next baby sitter.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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