Q: What's black and white and red all over? A: Someone who just got stabbed to death reading the newspaper.

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Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Meanwhile in the basement...an elderly man, who lives a lone and whose children lead their own lives and dont have much time for him, lies on the ground unable to move after having falling down the stairs. He has been there for 2 days. He is frightened and confused, he hears someone knocking and his hopes perk up, he tries to call but due to lack of water his mouths is too dry to do so. He sobs in frustration. Knock Knock [Silence] The old man cries, aware of his fate.

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A classic (apologies if it's been posted before): A woman was riding the bus home after a day of shopping. Suddenly she jumped up, shouting "may aspirins! My aspirins!" The driver replied: "You probably left them on the counter at the drugstore."

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Why do giraffes have long necks? So they can reach higher, un-eaten leaves.

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Why did the piece of gum cross the road? It was stuck to the chicken's foot.

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A little boy had a candle by his bedside. It fell over. The candle was fake, and it didn't burn down his house. When he woke up, he picked up the candle, put it back on his nightstand and had a wonderful day.

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how many dumbasses does it take to make a kushagra

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Democracy.

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How do you beat Princess Diana in a car race? Challenge Princess Diana to a car race.

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How do you find a jew amoung italians? Through a dollar and see which one whines its not enough!

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Its over 9000 penises and they're all raping little children!!!!!

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what is your moms favorite website? Wait did I say mom. Oh I'm not very sorry.

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Why was the black person playing hockey? Because he found an interest to the sport during his childhood years.

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What do you call a deer with no eye? NO IDEAR!

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Color Blind people are so stupid that they can't even see color. I've been seeing color since I was a small child. They are so stupid.

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What did the man say to his friend when he beat him in a game of billiards? Good Game.

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It was a chilly saturday afternoon coles's brother asked cole to baby sit cole said yes and when his brother left cole proceeded to give it to his niece in the ass. Little did cole know he said his little niece on fire that was the end of his little nieces life.

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Why was the man weird... Stevie Wonder

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause it wanted to

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how come the tadpoles dad told him he can't be a nurse? he has 2 b a frog!

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What do you call Chuck Norris being killed? This is impossible so we are not give it a name.

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What did the foreigners do to pass time? They blew up the twin towers.

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What did the cow say to the chicken? - Muuuuhhhhhhhhh!

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A hero is nice to everyone, but one person. who is that? Your mom. WOOOOOOOT!! YOU JUST GOT MUSCLEMANED!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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