hey I just met you, and this is crazy. I have alzheimers. Hey i just met you.

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What burns like hell? Gonorrhea.

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Why did a black man toss a bowl into the air? Because he just got it from the microwave and it was extremely hot.

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My dad died on Mothers Day, my mother was happy. Actually Iied, we were all sad.

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What do you call a skeleton in your closet? Evidence of a brutal crime. You should probably call the cops.

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How do you make a clown stop smiling? hit him with an axe

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Why did Carl the cat die? he didnt. he's still alive.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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What did Woody say to Buzz? A lot. There were three movies.

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Why did the flight attendant look scared every time every time she saw a muslim get on the airplane? Because her family got murdered in front of her before she came to work

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If you woke up in the morning feeling like P Diddy, get tested. Immediately.

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My neighbours found out this morning that I'm a serial killer. Knock knock [L]

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A man walks outside and sits down to eat his sandwich.

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What do you call a guy with a puppy, candy, and a windowless white van? You're next baby sitter.

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A man walks into a bar. It leads to a fight that is enjoyable to watch.

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How do you make an electrician cry? Kill his family.

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Your mamas so old that she sat next to Jesus in kindergarten?

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A woman gets into the front seat of a car and starts driving.

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How was my day, you ask? First of all, I don't own a day. And second of all, it hasn't ended.

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About numbers, it was 180 mg of valium... And I am going to live becausepeople got there in time, my heart never stopped because luck, the doc was only making a joke about me "having ingested enough valium to die at least twice". Sanders, I just got your girlfriend to agree to a threesome, if my banana ever wakes up again, AND WHEN... Thou areth forgiven, btw I sent him a picture of Line`s unshaved vagina, and a note stating: U recognize this? Find out more on horsehead network! Meh His name is Anders something Chattington, yeah for all that know him, guess whose finger is on her unshaven... Yeah, maybe you should not have messed with a guy that can have ANYONE. Ps: Then its your mother, then your sister which is 17 (and pretty 16 is legal here so fuck you Chatty!) and then I SHALL STRIKE THY WITH THE VENGEANCE OF A THOUSAND SUNS! Because you are forgiven, which I cant even remember what means, I mean I know I am typing my experiences here, but thats only because I remember by muscle memory where the buttons are, said the doctor... I can still play Snes emulators... Not, because my numb fingers cant click anything and Line is gone. I TOUCHED HER ALREADY YA KNO! YOU SAW THE PIC, My skin is tan, and... well you know she is here... The best part? She is totally okay with you knowing, sayonara pal, id watch the "fluor" in your mothers pussy the next time you eat it!

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Why can't black people swim? Because there are sharks in the lake.

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Why did? Yes

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What did god say to Jesus. "Dude, she's not a virgin"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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