A depressed man walks into a bar. He has a drink and heads back to his apartment. On the way he was killed by another man attempting to commit suicide due to depression.

What would you call Shaquille O'Neal if he was on the moon? Shaquille O'Neal, or any nickname you may have for him.

Ask me if I'm a human. Are you a human? Yes.

Every first letter of an innappropriate body part is how it actually looks like: Penis, Vagina, Boobs

what did the pornography filmer say to the asain man as he was having sex? im taking a highly pixelated recording of you and your partner engaging in sexual intercourse

whats worse than sitting next to jack grindey nothing

Whats red and smells like Bacon. Bacon

your mom is so fat, that your father is no longer attracted to her and it is tearing your family apart.

Q: Whats different about pizza and jewish people? A: Pizzas don't scream in the oven.

How do you keep an idiot in suspense? You watch a suspenseful TV program and pause at the right moment.

If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychological disorder.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Noooooooo...

How do you know if you have athlete's foot? You ask your doctor, and he will tell you.

Four gay men go to a bar and enjoy a drink celebrating their long lived platonic relationship.

What happened when the Asian girl got a B on her report card? She committed suicide

roses are red violets are blue i have AIDS i'm about to die

John: what is blue and goes blub blub Phil; I don't know, what? John: a blue blub blub. What is green and goes blub blub Phil; a green blub blub John: no green blub blubs don't exist, what are you stupid?

What did one dog say to the other? Nothing silly...dogs can't talk.

A:Whats the air speed velocity of a swallow? B:What an african or English swallow? A:Well I don't know that.

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

i have a black person in my family tree he's still hanginh

Q: Why did the plane crash? A: Someone threw a hippo at the pilot.

Q: How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A: You murder her friends and family.

A guy is taking a pee in the ocean and a fish swims up and drinks the pee. The fish says "thanks for the lemonade."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...