There once was a man from Nantucket, Who had an average-sized penis he only used during monogamous sex with his spouse.

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knock knock? who's there Dave Come on in!!!!!

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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How do you get a tissue to dance. You don't.

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Why did the man go to Cantabria, Spain? Because he liked potatoes... jk

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What did the strawberry say to the elephant? Nothing. Because it's a strawberry and strawberries can't talk.

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a. get me a drink b. a would but but i got no arms

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My grandmother has degenerative brain disease, We may need to euthanise her.

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How do you get four gay guys to sit on one barstool? It's quite difficult, it would be easier to just get 3 more barstools.

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Today if my birthday, and I got given the Anti Joke Book! Happiness!

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible to try out for his school's football team. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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How could Jamie not come out and play? His mum had cancer

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Why did god make asians? I dont know. Yah, me niether

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Why did Suzie's friend put rubbish in her mouth? Because Suzie is a rubbish bin.

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Knock, Knock Whos There, Jews, Jes who, Whould you like some jews with that.

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What's the difference between Rebecca Black and your mom? Nope! Chuck Testa.

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An old man walks into a bar. He suffered greater injury than a younger man due to his advanced age and deteriorating health. But he did eventually recover by strictly adhering to his doctor's advice of bed rest, improved diet, and increased, yet moderate, aerobic exercise.

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What did Rihanna remember when she corrected Chris Browns tweets she can't remember last thing she saw was a fist

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What did the Irishman say to the German? "Sorry, do you have the time?"

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How does Ron Weasley greet Harry in the morning? Mornin' Horry, how did ghe' sleep?

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what do u call a lesbian dinosaur? lickalotopuss

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A Black man is running down the street with a T.V. He just bought it with the money he is getting from his recent promotion to partner at a local Law firm. He is running because he had to park far away and wanted to get out of the rain.

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ROSES ARE RED FRIENDS ARE FRIENDS, NO MUTUAL FRIEND, WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU TRYING TO ADD ME ON FACEBOOK BITCH!

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Hey Eliza, thanks, while I appreciate the help, Alice is crying in a corner and refusing to get up, I wont lie, for a moment there I could "see voices and music" and valium has taken care of the ptsd (and blown most of my brain, which is nice for a change). With that said, im on 40 mg ritalin which is a lot, but I need it, besides I can handle the anxiety. I have no idea who the guy typing this is, but he is following me to the letter, so thats good enough, except his typos being worse than mine, which is pretty good for a guy that barely speaks english. Sorry Eliza, but Alice is having a breakdown here, ill talk her down a bit first, she tries to hide it, but she is far more worried about me than I am, which is nice, just not like this, ill be right back with you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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