How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? It's dependent on many factors, like the size of the babies and the tub. It would be a horrific endeavor, and you should probably stop thinking about such things.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the paraplegic die in a fire? He couldn't get down the stairs.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Whats big, grey, and cant climb trees? A carpark

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why do bees fly? Because evolution made them

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a man who can't sing. Untalented and he should probably find a new profession

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Let me tell you this really funny Dane Cook joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" After hearing this common expression, the horse looks up at the bartender. With this look, the bartender realizes that he has been speaking to I'll Have Another. Aware his faux pas, the bartender apologizes and pours him a free drink. The free drink does little for I'll Have Another's crushed dreams.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A piece of paper got wet. I stuck it over the fireplace to dry off, but it lit on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why was the baby's face red? Because it was bloody.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A man walks into a bar. He's just entered into the Twilight Zone.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q.What do you call a friend with benefits? A. a buck fuddy.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do you tell a bunch of Chinese people apart? Go up to each one and ask them their first and last names. The chances of any of them being the same is quite slim, giving each person their own identity.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What happened when the Mexican lays his head on a pillow? He falls asleep

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a man with a spade stuck in his head? An ambulance, he may be in need of urgent medical assistance

thumb_up thumb_down +5

There is a wizard standing on a street corner. A boy walks up to the wizard and says, "Can you turn invisible?" The wizard replies, "Oh, I'm not a wizard. I'm a hobo with a long beard and a bathrobe." The hobo then proceeded to begging the boy for money.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

- Mommy look, I built a sandcastle! - Who cares, you have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Manchester City

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the boy ask his dad for a phone? Because he had his head stuck up a sheeps bum

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a squirrel in my yard? Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

whats fat and sits on a toilet? a fat guy sitting on the toilet

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why were The Beatles so popular? People across the world enjoyed their music.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q) What did the farmer say who'd lost his tractor? A) Where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do you get McFly into a Mini? McFly are a four member band and a mini has four seats so it's actually quite straightforward.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops