When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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This one time at Concentration camp.... My friends all died cause they were chosem in the Selection

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What is the difference between a jew and girl scouts. Girl scouts come back from camp

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A man walks into a bar with an MP5 and proceeds to fire thirteen bullets into a crowd of people, several unarmed bystanders attempt to disarm the gunman but they are promptly ordered to stay back or they too would be fired on, a witness reports gunfire coming from down the street to local emergency services and they arrive quickly, organising a perimeter around the bar, county sherriffs decide it would be safest to wait for a swat team, as reports indicated the gunman may have hostages, however the gunfire appears to have ceased an noone has entered or exited the building since police arrived on scene. As SWAT arrives on scene and media helicopters circle above, a person emerges from the bar and the gunman appears behind him, he shoots and kills the hostage and then turns the gun on himself, the death toll reached sixteen including the gunman and as many as fourteen people were injured. there was no clear motive to the massacre, but a search of his appartment indicated he was tired of one-liners on typical joke sites and felt his wife's betrayal with his best friend was too much to bare and he simply snapped after losing his job in the current economic situation.

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A guy walks into a bar. But this was a bar like a pole, so the man ended up with a broken nose.

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How do you make a dentist cry? Kill all his family.

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Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar.... Homosexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual pandas just have piece? Man 1: Were the hell did you come from? Homosexual Panda: My mother's uterus same as you, retard.

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When would you find a Mexican, Asian, Black and white guy hanging out? Never

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What did the amputee get for Christmas? Shot.

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How do you stop a black man from running? You shoot his knee caps.

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What did the apple say to the carrot? Nothing, apples don't talk

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What's worse than sex with a midget? Non-consensual sex with a midget.

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Why was 6 afraid of seven? It isn't numbers are not sentiment objects therefore incapable of feeling fear

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There is a horse sitting at a bar, and the bartender says MOTHER OF GOD!! What is this horse doing in here?!

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what did the chocolate bar say to the ice cream cone? nothing: chocolate bars can't talk

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A man walks into a bar with a frown on his face His dog just died

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Whats green and miss centowski hates a gas chamber :D lets be friends

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If there's something strange in your neighborhood. Who ya gonna call? The Police.

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What did the Rose Bowl say to the Fiesta Bowl? We crushed the Orange Bowl.

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How do you get a black man out of your seat? You ask him very nicely with a great attitude.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to

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The other day I was talking to this guy... Nice guy

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why did the man sell the car and bought worse one? it' s his hoby to restore cars

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chuck norris multiplied by zero equals zero.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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