Man goes to the doctors, He waits patiently in the waiting room for nine minutes and is then called in to see the doctor for a routine check up. After seeing the doctor he picks up his sisters kid from school and carries on with his day.

How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb? None, any dog aware of the situation would kindly inform its owner.

What do you call a one legged , one eyed, canadian fisherman called Samuel Browning? Mr Browning unless you are on friendly terms then Sam is fine.

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was dead Q: Why did the lizard fall out of the tree? A: It was stapled to the moneky

Your mom is so fat, I do not see how she can possibly wipe effectively.

what did the black, asian and jew have in common? Believe it or not, they all liked cantoulope.

Roses are blue Violets are red Is that really What I just said?

Why was 2 afraid of three Because it bigger

What has 2 wheels and looks like a bike? A bike.

my friend died in a car crash, now i have no friends.

What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas? A gameboy

You no what the biggest lie in history is? Agreeing to the terms and services whenever you sign up for a website

A Priest, a Rabbi and a Shaman walk into a bar. The Bartender looks at them and says "What is this a Joke?"

Two men are stranded in a structure on an alien planet, they are frightened when they are told that there is evidence of a life form near them, they explore their surroundings and find a snake-like creature that flares what looks like wings, bites one of the men on the hand and wraps its tail around his arm squeezing it until the arm breaks (we see the bone poke through his sleeve and he screams); the creature slithers up his sleeve, into his mask and lunges into his mouth killing him, and the other man is sprayed on the mask with acid and we see the plastic of the mask melt onto his face.

Why did the black man cross the road? To rape the girl on the other side.

What's black and white all over and has a mouth? A Zebra

like this or you will die at some point in your life

whats sad about a bus full of blacks driving over a cliff? the driver was white

Someone dies every second. That's 60 a minute. 3600 a hour. 86,400 a day. 604,800 a week. 31,536,000 a year. But thankfully- I don't live in Zimbabwe.

Every first letter of an innappropriate body part is how it actually looks like: Penis, Vagina, Boobs

23 convicts were showering. One of them dropping his soap bar. The person next to him picked it up, and the one who dropped it said thanks.

What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They all gone.

what happened to the chicken who crossed the road he didn't realize that the light was green

what do eagles and moles have in common? they both live underground except for the eagle!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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