whats older than your mom? a tortoise that has been living more than a couple hundred years

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Yellow People !!

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Why did the child say he had been a ubused. Answer: because he had been.

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What did one lawyer say to the other? Your son's coming to my son's birthday party, right?

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Roses are red Violets go poo My name is Dave How bout u

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Q: What does a psychic have in common with a stone? A: The bible decrees that psychics are witches and should be stoned and something topical about the stone.

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What is the worst party ever? Nazi.

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a woman walks into a bar, she was quickly kicked out and escorted back to the kitchen

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What do you call a over weight woman? Fat bitch.

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Yo mama so fat she runs the risk of stroke, heart disease, or diabetes

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Q. What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a trampoline? A. I don't were cleats when I jump on my trampoline.

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What time is it when you run out of ice cream? Time to get more ice cream.

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Your mom is so fat, she weighs 732 kilograms.

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Is it not a antijoke? When your granpa uncle or whatever used to pull out basically worthless coins out of your ears? And each time you wanted for him to drag out so many you can actually buy some bubblegum or something, the "stash" you where saving diminishes the moment you receive a new coin? Moral: Dont believe in yourself! Believe in me! Because I believe in you!

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Roses are red Violets are purple, and anyone who tells you otherwise is wrong.

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Looking's for free... Touching's for free.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Stolen cheese

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Why did Schrödinger's Cat cross the road? It didn't

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Three guys walk into a bar. Soon after another man tries to walk in, but is stopped by the bouncers because the bar was at capacity.

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Mary had a little lamb, The nurse and midwife fainted. Because last year she met a ram, And they got too acquainted.

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KANE AUDITIONS FOR BRITAINS GOT TALENT SIMON COWEL REAPES HIM

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Recycled jokes are about as good as a scalar roundabout... [L]

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Yo momma's so fat that when she asked the doctor, he said she could have such bad cardiovascular problems if yo mamma keep the typical sedentary habits, wich consist in a diet with a lots of fat and sugar, the lack of physical exercise and genetical characterists which make a person get fatter more easily.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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