Remember how I made you hypnotically cum by poking your own nose last time? When I told you that hypnotic story about the astrologer and the brain surgeon? So you wet yet? Think about how easy its going to be for me when I take out Mr.Big and slap down your coffee table with it, yeah... Feels cozy down there does it not?

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What did the facial stylist charge Jack Sparrow to get his ears pierced? A buc-an-ear!

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-The proceeding statement is true. -The preceeding statement is false.

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Three men walk in to a bar, One ducked

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When you aren't feeling well, you should see a doctor like this: https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS5u4lryU5PzmLUKCGEKZgDWMeQ_96VLEKFGu7Wvk-4M7UXHkOXBw

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If you're American when you go into the bathroom , and you're American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom. Ha, joke is on you because Americans don't pee.

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A student asks a teacher: Sir, how much time would it take for me to do this quiz. Teacher says: From the second I give you this test to the second you hand it back to me.

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J- Jiggly E- Enormous S- Sad S- Smelly E- Ethiopian

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Why did Hitler shoot himself? Because he found out Chuck Norris was a Jew.

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ROSE ARE BROWN VIOLETS ARE BROWN WHO SH*IT IN MY GARDEN!!!!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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what happened to the slut last time she opened her legs. a bee flew in and stung her. turned out she was deathly allergic. she died a painful death.

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What's worse than a dead baby? What a sick question. Most would argue that nothing is worse than the death of an infant.

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Why did the kid lose his mom? She was shot.

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An American, a Mexican and a Cuban are in a car. For they are heading to the store to buy groceries and then come home to make dinner.

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Yo momma so fat, when she steps on the scales it reads 90kg

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What did the little girl get for Christmas? A pipe bomb

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Why did the little boy fall off the swing? Because he has no arms.

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How did the the the police know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head & shoulders in the glove compartment.

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Your momma so stupid, she dropped out of school at a young age of 12.

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What is long, hard, and full of semen? An erected penis.

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What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer? dinner

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too bad about that wild ball, you otherwise played a fantastic softball game

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The diamond one below is hilarious.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops