Why was the little girl crying? There was a frog stapled to her forehead.

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A bear woke up from his annual hibernation to find that his stomach is growling. "I sure am hungry." the sleepy bear said. So he found some berries, but spit them out. "These berries are far too bitter." the playful bear said. He then found some honey, however was soon bombarded with a swarm of bees. "That honey is good, but not that good." the jolly bear said. He then stumbled upon a cabin. "I wonder if there is any food in here..." the curteous bear wondered. The events that followed are now reffered to by the locals as the May 20th Massacre. While no witnesses survived, the police reports depict that the Martinez family, a young family of 7 enjoying their memorial day weekend in their New Hampshire cabin, was brutally slain by a blood-thirsty animal who tracked each of them throughout the house in a period of approximately 45 minutes.

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

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What do you get when you stab a baby? A dead baby.

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What's sweet and tastes like candy? Candy, now get in the van.

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Knock knock Who's there Orange Orange who Orange

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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why does the pie have apples in it? it was apple pie.

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What does a spider Pig do? Nothing. They dont exist.

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what happens when a retard hits an iceberg with a gigantic boat? 1517 people die.

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What is similar between a horse and a zebra? - If you chopped of there heads, they would die.

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A man walks into a bar and is slowly tearing his life apart. maybe because he is drinking poisonous acid instead of beer

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face.

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How did the chicken cross the road?he just got up and walked to the other side.

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Whats the differnce between love and herpies Herpies last forever

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Huh? Whats wrong? Why are you mad at me for? Its my name, it has always been so.

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How do you fit 100 dead babies in a box? A blender. How do you get them out? Tortilla Chips. hehehehehehe

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Nothing, because he is an orphan.

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What is black and burns really well? charcoal.

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Why did Mary fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Mary.

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If I earned a dollar for every time you've said, "I'm too old for this sh*t," I wouldn't have made very much money. You are a giraffe.

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I wish there were a city named Sample. So that the sign can say "Urine Sample"

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How do you make a white girl commit suicide? Bully her.

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What's better than winning a gold medal in the Paralympics? Not being retarded.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops