A man walks into a bar. He hits his head and dies.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

my grandpa told me "dont let fear rule your life" 2 hours later he got hit by a train.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did billy fall off his bike? Because billy was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

how did the fat man get up the stairs he walked

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the man pee his pants? Because he was paralyzed from the waist down and had no way of feeling

thumb_up thumb_down +20

how many licks does it take to get to the center of lollipop? unknown.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Q: What do you call Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. A: two things: Their names, and a doctor because they are both in need of a nutritionist.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How do you get a blonde to stop talking? Hit her in the head with a brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

knock knock whose there? banana? banana who? im sorry but you have to go to the doctor now.......

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Q: What kind of bees make milk? A: None. Bees make honey, not milk.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did the wife get her husband after he became a paraplegic in a car accident? Divorce papers.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why was the boy scared? Well, his mother had recently taken up Satanical ideals and in an attempt to sacrifice themselves to the Dark Lord, she drove her car off a cliff and into a lake. Now, with his dead mother in the drivers seat, no way to call emergency services, and 300 feet of water between him and the surface, you can see why he'd be scared.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Knock Knock. Whose there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit on the way there.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

why did the homeless man die? because everyone does.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's brown,green got four legs and can fall out of a tree and kill you? A snooker table.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Words with two W's or N's in them are awkward and unnecessary.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the horse say moo? Because it's a cow

thumb_up thumb_down +18

why is dog animal? it is not fish! 18 fits of has hair only have is Buddhist

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What do you call a black man on the moon? Another successful moon landing by NASA in which the African-American astronaut went on a successful moon walk.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Your Mom is so fat, that she went to the doctor's and they told her that she was overweight and needed to get a stomach staple in order to make her lose weight

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the chicken cross the playground. He didn't. chickens are unsanitary to have in schools

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did Sara fall off the swing? Sara had no arms! Knock knock? Who's there? Not Sara!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops