Your mother is so fat, when she stepped on a scale, it read quite a large number. She resolved to live healthier and exercise more.

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What is worse than getting shot in the leg? Getting shot in the head.

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How do you call a guy that ran over 10 children A bad driver

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Guy 1: "Smells like UpDog in here." Guy 2: "No it doesnt.."

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I'm colorblind, I hate my life

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Q. Why did Obama cross the road? A. To collect taxes from the houses on the other side

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What does Steven Hawking and Justin Bieber have in common? Absolutely nothing.

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Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by two giant black scorpions.

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What's worse than a wet sock? Being molested as a child.

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Just checked my Tesco burgers in the fridge and they're still within the use by date.

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A man walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The barman says no.

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When I see the Viagra commercial telling you about all the side effects and they say "if you have an erection lasting for more than 4 hours, call a doctor." If I have an erection that lasts that long, I'm not calling a doctor. I'm calling my mom; who I always call when I'm sick.

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What did the old man say after he fell down? nothing.

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What's funny about Magic Johnson's T-Cell count? Nothing. He has AIDS, and it's a degenerative disease, that will eventually result in death. There's nothing funny about that.

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when god created an asian he said 'Crispy"

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Three guys walk into a bar: a Priest, a rapist, and a pedophile...and two other guys

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Q: How do you make a plumber sad A: you kill his family lolololololololololol

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How do you get a blonde to stop talking? Hit her in the head with a brick.

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Knock Knock Nobody Nobody who? Nobody, did you not hear what I just said.

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How do you make a French-man cry? Kill his family.

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Q: Why shouldn't you walk under a ladder? A: Because it could fall on top of you. Be a reasonable human being and just fly OVER the ladder.

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Whats white and sticky? Glue.

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A horse walks into a bar. The Barman asks "why the long face?" The horse says "My son was recently killed in a horrific horse racing accident"

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What does a gay horse eat? Low-energy foods should only be fed to horses who are not regularly being worked and participating in high performance. According to the University of Kentucky's College of Agriculture, energy is vital to horses who need to perform their best as it aids many of the body's functions including muscle contraction, respiration and circulation. Only feed a low-energy diet to an idle horse and feed a high-energy diet to an older or sickly horse and to a working horse.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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