Why don't you make like a tree, and get out of here.

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My mother has great posture. She's paralyzed from the neck down.

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Roses are red, Violets are purple, not fucking blue.

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What happens when a truck full of mexicans and a truck full of aisians collide? They all die.

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Two strawberries are sitting in a bathtub. One says to the other, "Can you pass the soap?" The other one says, "What do I look like, a typewriter?!"

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what you say to the kid that just hit puberty? your a young man

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What did the orphan get for Christmas? Nothing, the orphanage did not have sufficient funds to give everyone a present because they did not want to how favoritism because the orphans are already sad enough and te orphanage does not want the orphans killing them selves

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Why shouldn't you ask Lebron James for change for a dollar? Because in the year 2013 Lebron will tear his ACL and will never able to play the game again. He then won't be able to land a job because he never finished college. After being unable to land a job, he then develops an expensive crack edition. His house gets foreclosed, and he becomes broke. And then does not even have four quarters to his name.

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Why is the Holocaust/Worm in your apple joke the highest rated joke on Anti Jokes? Most of the viewers of this website clicked on a thumbs up symbol directly below the joke, which by the coding of this website triggered an algorithm that caused the number adjacent to this thumbs up button to increase and also caused the joke to appear higher on the list of most popular jokes.

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My daughter got a kinder surprise with cool toy today..... i killed her i didnt even want the toy

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What was the black woman doing in the kitchen? She was simply washing her hands after eating dinner.

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So mind telling me why you wont call me? And why, you know... Are you avoiding this condition of yours?

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Why did the man drop one dozen long stem roses? Because he was hit by a taxi cab

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Well no, thats not true, sorry, I mean I GET THAT ALL THE FUCKING TIME!

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What do you call a Pakistani flying a plane. 9/11

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We are few Nero, too few, if I want to split my money with you, would it help you find true happiness?

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What is white and black and red all over.

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yo momma!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

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So, there's a man and a bar. He gets a hacksaw.

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How many babies does it take to paint a barn? It depends on how hard you throw them

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What do Alzheimer patients think of the internet. Happy pi day.

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What do mario and luigi have in common They are both plumbers

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roses are red, no one gives a shit, get back in the kitchen and bring me my chicken dips!

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if you have 5 oranges and 15 ice cubes, how many pancakes can you fit on the roof? red, because aliens dont wear shirts.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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