you are looking on the internet someone falls over and i were shoes and chips prevent world war 2

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Ok is 25 really funnier than 24 because i think 8008 or 5318008 are way funnire tahn 24 or 35 just saying

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A: Rock! B:Paper! C: Siccorz! D: Shoot! D: Jimmy, you alright buddy? I didn't mean for that bullet to hit you man..

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Neither did she.

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'who the f*ck let a horse in here, get it out now'.

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Why do deer have horns? Because god made them that way.

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Why can't Micheal J Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he has Parkinsons..

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A man walks inta pet store looking for a dog. All he finds are cats.What did he end up buying. A weasel

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Why did timmy fall off his bike? Someone threw a fridge at hm

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How many elbows does a Jew have? 2

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Two elves walk into a bar. The hobbit laughs and walks under it.

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How do you fit an elephant inside your car? I don't understand why this task would even need to be performed. I have never arrived anywhere in my car and thought "Sure could use an elephant right about now..."

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Why couldnt rex bark??? because he was a fish!

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Q: What did the boy with cancer get for Christmas? A: He died on Christmas Day, before his parents could tell him they had maxed out their credit cards to take him to Disney World. His father has since relapsed into alcoholism. He knows his wife is cheating on him with another man, but understands that she needs comfort that he cannot give her.

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Donald Trump

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How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but I don't know how they got in there.

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Knock Knock whose there your parents your parents who your parents just got malled by a hobo with an axe.

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My brother gave my mom AIDS. My mom gave my dad AIDS. My dad gave my dog AIDS. My dog gave me AIDS. I gave my sister AIDS. My sister called the police because of the wild case of AIDS.

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...and the rabbit says, "How 'bout that schnitzel!"

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Fucked up quotes: "When walking trough hell, keep going!" (I just turn back and walk the other way thank you, I mean worst case I walk trough heaven right?" "Never give up, ever ever ever ever ever..." (Ill just end it with etc because I gave up something as hard as... Typing?) "Curiosity killed the cat" (Translated: "Curiosity kills, stay inside forever" What?)

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Two muffins are in an oven one muffin says to the other muffin "It's hot in here" the other muffin says "Holy crap a talking muffin".

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Why did the Mexican sneak across the US border? There aren't many good jobs for him in Mexico, and with the cost of living in his small village, he will be able to provide for his entire family of seven on just minimum wage in California. He will miss his family terribly while he is away from them, but he believes it is worth it in the end. Once he saves enough, he will pay the coyotes to smuggle the rest of his family over so they can be together again. Hopefully none of them will die on the journey.

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What do you get when you cross a dog with a cat? Nothing, it is impossible to mix 2 different animals

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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