How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? -250.

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A man walks into a chiropractor. The chiropractor asked whats wrong with you? The man replies My boner has scoliosis.

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To mama's so fat when she went to Dairy Queen she Ordered a blizzard.

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Read a Book.

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What do a porkchop and a watermelon have in common? They're both edible, organic, and delicious. Also, both are fun to throw at people.

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My cake is yummy, It's icing is blue. It will always be mine, Come close and I'll punch you. So stay away from it And you will be safe, But if you dont listen, Prepare ice for your face!

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Whats the difference between anne frank and osama bin laden? Nothing. They were both found eventually.

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Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Meanwhile in the basement...an elderly man, who lives a lone and whose children lead their own lives and dont have much time for him, lies on the ground unable to move after having falling down the stairs. He has been there for 2 days. He is frightened and confused, he hears someone knocking and his hopes perk up, he tries to call but due to lack of water his mouths is too dry to do so. He sobs in frustration. Knock Knock [Silence] The old man cries, aware of his fate.

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What smells like diarrhea and looks like poop? A rotten banana.

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whats funnier then a joke on anit jokes pracitcally anything cause anti jokes repaeats and everyone has herd them

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Why did the horse die? I shot it in the face.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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Why are people attacking the Jews we gave you so much things like: Television (Thomas Edison) Electricity (Thomas Edison) Weapons (Arvin Humbergs) Wifi (Edcolsin Vinstein) Be gr8 ful without us your nothing

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Roses are red, My name is Dan, I have a gun, get in the van

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How did 3 fat women fit under 1 small umbrella and not get wet? It wasn't raining!

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding Barney the purple dildo!

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When life gives you limes, say hey! wait a second ,aren't these meant to be lemons? then kill yourself

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Why did the man get go to sleep? He got hit in the face with a hammer.

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Only in your math books can Carlos buy 14 cantaloupes without hus sanity being questioned.

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Why did the guy stay up all night on the internet? because hes a fat ugly bastard with no life

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What did the parents say to their kid? You're adopted and we don't love you.

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Q. Why did Sarah fall off of the swing? A. She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sarah!

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Wish me luck these are the ten numbers on my keno 19 65 80 2 34 72 68 22 12 8

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Curiosity killed the cat, Oh wait, I thought the dog did.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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