A father had three children Rose Daisy and Cinderblock. Rose comes up to her father and asks"daddy why am i named Rose?' the father answered"well when you were a baby a rose petal fell on your head"Rose Reply's "oh thats nice" and walk's away. the Daisy comes up and ask's "Daddy! why am i named Daisy!" the Dad answered "well. when you were a baby a rose petal fell on your head" Daisy Replied" oh ok i guess" and walked away. Then Cinderblock came up and asked "duuuhhhd" and the father simply replied" Shut up Cinderblock".

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What's the difference between The Hulk and The Thing? One is green.

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? As Suzy neared the ground while swinging, her foot caught a small hole in the swingset's pebble foundation, and the power of Suzy's momentum along with the sudden stop of Suzy's swing forced Suzy to fly forward off of the swing. Suzy, seeing the silliness of her mistake, laughed it off, and tried to get back up. She quickly realized that her leg had snapped in half. Suzy will never walk again.

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Roses are red And heres something new Violets are violet They're not friggin blue

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartendor says "Why the long face?" The horse replies "My wife was just diagnosed with cancer and given only a week to live."

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What's the difference between my mom, and a bag of garbage? A bag of garbage is incapable of contracting aids

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Why is the chicken dead? It tried to cross the road.

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A man is walking on the beach and discovers a lamp in the sand. He takes it home to polish it. Eventually it looks like new and he gets a fairly reasonable price from an antique shop.

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What's twelve inches long and makes women scream? Crib death.

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Yo mama so old when I slapped her on the back her tits fell off.

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What did the man say before he died? I am going to die.

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Q: How do you turn lights on and off? A: With a switch

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What do you call a Mexican flying a plane? A pilot

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Do you know what the worst part about inbreeding is? - It's runs in the family!

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Q: If your riding down the Nile on a boat and your boat springs a leak, how many boxes of pancake mix does it take to fix the hole? A: 58, because Koalas are marsupials

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Roses are red,Violets are blue, Who the hell are you,Get the hell away

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What would a gay, transgender, mexican man say to another? We could have butt sex.

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What's got 2 thumbs and a massive penis? A body parts collector I know called Harold Fortescue

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How do you wake a clown up? By pouring vinegar in his eyes.

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Dude, you were so drunk last night that you got in a terrible car accident, and now you are paralyzed from the waste down for life.

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Q:John has 50 candy bars and he eats 45, what does john have? A: Diabetes

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Run it over with a lawn mower!

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Why did Hitler kill himself? He realized what he'd gotten himself into and became severely depressed

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What's black and at the top of a burning building? A paraplegic

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops