Why did the kid fall off his bike? His mum threw a fridge at him.

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Doctor! Doctor! Everyone seems to be stealing things! Piss off, I am a doctor not a detective you prick.

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Whats faster than a black guy with a tv? His brother who is a dentist and drives a fast sports car.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He did not have sufficient stability in his arm at that moment causing him to loosen his grip and drop his ice cream.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who is there? Not Suzie

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knock knock whos there? andy andy who? andy gold hi come in

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Why was the baby flying? Because it's face was stapled to the propeller of a helicopter.

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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what's the diferance between a boner and a lambroghini? I dont have a lambroghini

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Why do new moms put "BABY ON BOARD" stickers on the backs of their cars? No reason. Hitting someone's car baby inside or not is against the law and very dangerous for passengers of any age.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a convicted cannibalistic rapist.

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my grandpa told me "dont let fear rule your life" 2 hours later he got hit by a train.

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Why did the guy fail his driving test? He was blind.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp.

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Dries Roelvink walks into a bar...

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut you racist bastard

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Two Jewish men are walking when they see a penny on the ground. They continue walking because pennies are not worth picking up in today's economy

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im 14, over weight and spotty! you interested? .... im desperate:)

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I am colorblind because Iam a dog.

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Q: John gets attacked with a chainsaw, how many stitches does he get? A: None, Hes dead jim

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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What's worse than falling off a horse? Falling off a cliff.

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Why did Suzie get raped? because she was out past her bedtime. and the morale to this story is that its funny to be raped.

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Roses are Red I shit in your Stew When you eat it The joke is on you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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