what do you call a Nice Nazi A Nazi... He's still a Nazi.

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Q. What's yellow and looks like a duck? A. a baby duck

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What is worse then falling into a lava pit? Nothing you idiot.

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Why didn't the lttle boy fasten his seatbelt? It doesn't matter, it's too late now.

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- Knock, knock. -- How many dead babies does it take to cross the street and walk into a bar? - That's an odd question to ask to a visitor. -- Your mom.

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hey guess what? what ur gay! how did you know ive been in the closet for 5 years!?

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If David has 40 chocolate bars and eats 35 what does David have now? Diabetes, David has diabetes.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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A man takes a bite into a tuna casserole and burns his tounge. He is also a hermaphradite.

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Why did the Chicken become a medium? To talk to the other side.

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can't you hear that TOOT Ta TOOT TOOT, TOOT Ta TOOT TOOT flute (nicki minaj in a past life listening to a symphony)

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers and the middles for you

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How many lesbians does it take to change a lightbulb? One. But after she does this, se will probably have sex with another woman

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You know why they call me Scuba Steve? Because I Scuba Dive.

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What's sadder than a lost puppy? A dead puppy.

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Why was the boy laughing at Sally? Because Sally was a man

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Why did the black man drop his weed Because he got shot

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was struck by a car and killed instantly by the impact.

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Why did the chiken cross the road? idk, i can't talk to chikens

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Ok so im on antijoke.com and they tell me i can write my own joke... so i did.

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Why did the cookie shader Because someone dropped it

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What are astronauts called in Soviet Russia? Cosmonauts

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What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

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A man walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The barman says no.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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