When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. Well, that's going to be some horrible lemonade if life doesn't also give you water and sugar.

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So I was making this glass of milk right? So I get the milk out. And I get the soup out.. then I go...wait a minute...where'd the glass of soup come into this glass of situations? *smile+awkard pause because nobody will laugh at this=Success of this anti joke...try it*

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What's pink, bubbly, and goes round and round? A baby in a microwave.

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why did the chicken cross the road? who cares?

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Doctor Doctor! I think im turning into a carrot! Thats a side effect of the drugs Alice, We've just had your test results back. I'm sorry Alice, You've got HIV.

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A man walks outside and sits down to eat his sandwich.

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what happened to the batsman with bad footwork? he got out what did the batsman do when he got out? he left the ground due to the nature of the ruling

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why did the pyromaniac burn down the house? because he is a pyronaniac, he derives pleasure from burning things.

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A black person goes up to the drive through at popeye's, what did they say? Nothing, it was closed.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist bastard.

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if you have 5 oranges and 15 ice cubes, how many pancakes can you fit on the roof? red, because aliens dont wear shirts.

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What day is it today? Today. Thank you. You're welcome.

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Click here to end the world.

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Text this number just cuz 16305208722

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Why is six afraid of seven? SE7EN!

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Your mamma so fat she bungie jumped straight to hell

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A Chinese man fails a math test

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the teacher enters the room she sits in her chair and yells, "i am your substitute teacher. get out your books and write me a story."

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What's better than your first Hanukkah? Not being a Jew.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side. wow i missed the entire purpose of this.

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why are there so many peadofiles in the world? sexy kids.

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Before you insult a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you insult him, you'll be a mile away, and have his shoes.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put C where A is. :D

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Why did the man yell? Cause he wanted to!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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