Where do you8 find a dog with no legs? right where you left it

A man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What can I get for ya?" The man replies, "A beer."

Customer Service "May I help you?" "Yes."

Why couldn't the turtle swim? Because he went too close to an oil spill, the petroleum got into his mouth and coated his lungs and he is now dead.

Why did the jew put a parking meter on his roof.? ....So santa would have to pay to park.

A French man, Irish man and Japanese man walk into a bar, seeing as the men speak different languages no conversation begins.

Your mama's so fat.... Her cerial bowl came with a lifeguard

Why did the chicken cross the road? What chicken? That one! Grandma, that's a hobo. Put your glasses on.

What did the terrorist do to the small village? Destroy it with a bomb vest.

Situation: 2 cows eating grass on a warm Sunday night. Question: Why does 9+4=3 1/2? Answer: 69!

LOVING BIRD DIEING BIRD DO NOT FLY AWAY

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at poetry Show me your titties

"I'm so hungry!" "Hello so hungry, I am Matt. You must come from a very odd family if your name is " so hungry"!

Q: What's blue, red, and circular? A: I lied about the blue, and... uh... the red and circular part too, but everything else is true. It is an ipod touch.

Whats grosser then gross? A dead puppy in a barrel. Whats grosser the a dead puppy in a barrel? A dead puppy in two barrels. Created by : go josh or ty :D

What does greg and Ian have in common?

What happened to the pig? It got turned into bacon like every other pig.

Why did the tomato blush? It didn't, tomatoes are naturally red by colour.

Robert Palmer: Doctor Doctor give me the news! Doctor: You have contracted lung cancer and AIDS. You will die before Christmas.

An English man, a German man and a Canadian man stood on the edge of a cliff. The English and German both jump off. What happens then? The Canadian says "they were serious?!" and runs away to fake his death and live the rest of his life as Frank Brown.

Why did the man have a really short temper? HOW THE **** SHOULD I KNOW???

Why did the Salesman leave the leper colony? He had to wish his daughter a happy birthday.

My Friend Philip had his lip removed today. he is just Phil now.

What did the aborted fetus say to the recycling bin? Nothing because it isn't capable of speaking, and it was in the dumpster

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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