Yesterday, my friend said I should facebook him. So I slammed a book into his face.

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What do you call two gay guys? People who should be living in California.

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This person shaved their head to gain attention. A klansman.

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Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was late for its laser bypass surgery.

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*knock knock* *knock knock * ? ? The man didnt answer because he died of a stroke

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black people swimming

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was the only way to get across

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A man walks into a bar and says "ow"; he stepped on a nail sticking up through one of the floorboards. He then sues the bartender for a large sum of money because of the injury he sustained, and causes the bartender to lose everything he owns in order to pay off his debt.

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A blind man is jumped and doesn't see it coming

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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CAN YOU FIND YOUR D I C K YET BOMBER

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Mum did you make my milkshake? No, I didn't son, but your father did. Fther's dead. I know.

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What is faster? A bottle of milk or a sand-filled pin ball machine? A fighter jet, stupid!

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Have you seen Jennifer Aniston's newborn baby? Neither has she.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? My arm! My arm who? My arm is everywhere!

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What did Osama say before he was shot? Nothing, it was a surprise attack.

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Boy: Why'd the chicken cross the road Mom: I don't know go ask the chicken

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Police your parents just died in a car accident

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What is worse than torturing, "forcibly penetrate" and then slowly and painfully kill nine billion people? The Holocaust?

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what is so funny about billy? nothing he is dead and if you laught at him you are the biggest jerk by: Brennan pickrell

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Your mom is so fat that she has diabetes and if she does not stick to her medical diet, her foot will be removed, but she started binge eating because of you in the first place, and if you don't straighten our your life, you will inadvertently be the cause of your mothers death.

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I had an amnesia joke But it was written down on a slip of paper because someone else wrote it down. Let me just take it out & read it to you

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A dog walks up to a puddle of pee and he starts to smell it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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