Why didn't the man give a location of the murderer? He was murdered

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Chris. Chris who? Wow, I thought we were better friends than that.

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Why did the cook throw up at McDonalds? Because his pay check was made out to the Ronald McDonald Foundation.

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A: What does MC Hammer like? B: Big Butts. A: Can he lie? B: No.

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Why do giraffes have long necks? To connect their bodies to their heads.

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What do you get when you cross a baby and a chainsaw? Life imprisonment.

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Guess whats in my hand. Can you guess? A gun. Bam bam, you're dead. Haha

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How do you paint a wall red? Throw a baby at it.

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What do a turtle an a bird have in common? They both fly except the turtle

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What came first... the chicken or the egg? How am I supposed to know?

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A blind man walked into a bar. Quite literally.

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What did the lawyer say to the doctor? - I am a lawyer and you're a doctor.

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What did the boy reading a book do? He finished the book and took it back to library.

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how much swag could a swagchuck chuck, if a swagchuck could chuck swag?

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A man walks into a meat shop. Man: I bet you $20 you can't reach the meat on the top shelf. Butcher: The steaks are too high

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What was the black woman doing in the kitchen? She was simply washing her hands after eating dinner.

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Whats the best part about having sex with 25 year olds? There 20 of them.

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Well no, thats not true, sorry, I mean I GET THAT ALL THE FUCKING TIME!

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What do Mike Tyson's handwriting, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and your Grandma's apple pie have in common? Nothing.

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what is black and blue and hates sex? the ten year old in my trunk.

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Why did the boy have to ride the bus? Because both his parents died.

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Just aids, and gonnoreah, and... Jk, I wont type it here, and I am not "suffering" from nothing, its a condition, it can be a struggle, and yeah it could turn fatal, on the bright side its not contagious (its genetics, flawed genetics) but on the bright side, so far chances are greater of me dying from a giant meteor falling on me as I sleep, than from this... Not disease, genetic flaw, take it from a guy that was born without toenails, has two eardrums and some weird tiny holes on his ears (I can send you a pic of those tiny weird holes, they are not weird, kinda cute I been told and can say so myself) so you calm yet?

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What's the meaning of life? I forgot to write it down.

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the teacher enters the room she sits in her chair and yells, "i am your substitute teacher. get out your books and write me a story."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops