Who doesn't love finding money in your pocket when you go to put your pants on? a rape victim

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Knock knock! Go away. I'm busy masturbating, and it would be extremely awkward if you were to entire my residence at this time. Please return at a later hour.

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How do you get Suzy to get off the swing? Ask her to move.

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Did you hear the one about the spoon and the dis running away while the cow jumped over the moon, IMPOSSIBLE! eating material such as the spoon and dish are inanimate objects, and cows cant jump for they weigh from 600 to 1000 lbs.

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What's brown and sticky? My ass.

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why did the elephant cross the road? it was the chickens day off.

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What did one saggy boob say to the other one? Better perk up or they'll think we're nuts.

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why did the chicken cross the road? well... to get to the other side.

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so a black guy, an asian, and a scott are sitting at a bar, they drink responsibly, pay their tab, and leave. The evening couldn't have been more pleasant.

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what will you do if you become a ruler of the world? Waking up, its just a dream GET REAL!

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whats worst than finding a worm in your apple???? an apple in your worm.

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your momma so fat.... that as she walked by....... i missed 3 commercials

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roses are red, violets are fine, you be the six, and I'll be the nine.

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A man walks into a bar. He orders a beer, then suddenly dies of a heart attack.

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What do you call a bookstore with explosive offers? Barnes and Cher-Noble.

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Have you seen the newest starwars? What movie? I mean that episode where stars fight... Will Smith vs Keanu Reeves? I am talking about the stars in the sky firing at each other! You know, those star pilots on planes... Flown by Will Smith and Keanu Reeves? BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! (You heard that one in your head)

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Did I say twenty times? I meant two hundred, you already know this I gather, but your subconcious understands mathmatics and multiplications at a whole different level because its potential is indefinite.

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he has a great career and a loving family.

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Theres a tomatoe a cucumber and a mouth. HA

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what happened to the little kid on a bicycle? Nothing

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What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They all gone.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, It's none of my business.

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What did the woman say when she ate crabs. This smells like my vagina (This women died slowly from crabs)

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What did the five fingers say to the face? Nothing. Fingers cannot talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops