A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism.

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pooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooop

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? No I said Lou. Oh hey Lou come on in.

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Why did Sally fly off the swing, She had no arms Knock knock *Who's there* Not Sally

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Knock Knock Who's there? Sally Sally who? Haha I'm just kidding, I'm Jorge.

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What's red, green and smells like crap? Green and red crap.

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An atheist dies and so will we all, eventually.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Big Brother. Big Brother who? That's right. ALL are who, Akbar!

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How do you make someone sad? Tell them they have cancer

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What did the Apostle John say to Jesus of Nazareth? "Oh, blow it out your butthole."

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One asks the other "Isn't it hot in here?" To which the other replies, "Holy ****, a talking muffin!"

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How does a Chinese person wear a contact lens? On a 45 degree angle

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Why did the man cry when he received his meal at McDonalds? They didn't give him a happy meal.

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roses are blue viloets are red this poem doesnt make sense microwave

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My Friend Philip had his lip removed today. he is just Phil now.

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How long does it take for a black woman to have a shit. 9 months.

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A man walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a drink. The bartender gives him a drink. The man walks out of the bar. He drives home and slaps his wife. Alcohol is destroying his marriage.

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Whats cold and frozen? ice

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"You're not very subtle, are you?" asked Nyacinth of the Prince. "Coo-fif," replied the Prince, a sly smile on his face.

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Why did Billy stop playing baseball? He lost his legs to cancer. Poor Billy.

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Two guys walk into a bar, and they ordered two drinks. Then the bartender said, "Two dollars, please." - Brandie PANG

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How do you stop a black man from running? You shoot his knee caps.

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What's big and black? An ant i lied about in being big

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What's the difference between a pizza and a black man? It would be cannibalism to eat a black man.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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