- Anti Joke

What do you call Justin Bieber having sex with a woman? Two people of the opposite gender having sex.

how do you wake up lady gaga? you throw her on the ground.

What did the mental patient say to the apple? She didn't say anything because she was a catatonic schizophrenic.

What did the police officer say to the bank robber? You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to speak to an attorney, and to have an attorney present during any questioning. If you cannot afford a lawyer, one will be provided for you at government expense.

A black man and a Mexican man are both in a car. Who's driving? The white man who is also in the car with them.

Fucked up quotes: "When walking trough hell, keep going!" (I just turn back and walk the other way thank you, I mean worst case I walk trough heaven right?" "Never give up, ever ever ever ever ever..." (Ill just end it with etc because I gave up something as hard as... Typing?) "Curiosity killed the cat" (Translated: "Curiosity kills, stay inside forever" What?)

A lonely man walks into a Self-Esteem class. He sits alone in the back because of his low self-esteem. Forever alone.

Why was the blonde fired from the factory? Repeated absences and violation of company policy.

a horse walks into an abandoned lighthouse , the lighthouse keeper is angered by this and ushers the horse to leave but the horse gets startled and kicks the mans bookshelf over before galloping away

DON'T READ THIS!!! you suck.

how do you break up with someone lightly and not hurt their feeling I dont want to hurt your feeling but i hate you

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for his birthday? A bike

A blonde walks into an electrics shop and asks to buy a television set. The shop-owner explains that she is signalling a microwave and is concerned for her mental wellbeing.

Two black men walk past a white man who recently hung himself from a tree. Oh the racist irony.

Why do women live longer? Once their sexual and metabolistic hormones are moleculy different from men's, their metabolism is different and act on different organs and vice-versa. Therefore, they live longer. Still, in a worldwide average, more men born than women.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who let the chickens out?!

what did the 3 year old get for her birthday? nothing she died of terminal cancer at the age of 2

Roses are red, Violets are too. I'm colour blind, It's a very depressing infliction.

Why did Sally fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

What did one cat say to the other cat? Nothing.

Why does Tim Teblow love men? Logan Cole told him to.

What happened to Grant when he did a cart wheel? Chuck had sex with Victoria

What do 9 out of every 10 people enjoy? Gangrape.

What's worse than finding 16 dead babies in a tree? Finding 1 dead baby in 16 trees.