Roses are red, lemons are sour, open your legs and give me an hour.

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What's worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm. Being raped. What's worse than being raped. Being raped twice. What's worse than being raped twice. Biting into your apple and finding a worm then throwing away that apple, retrieving another apple them biting into it and finding another worm then being raped twice. In the same 5 minutes.

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Did you hear the joke about the man and the serial killer? Neither did the man since he was stabbed repeatedly and thrown into the bottom of a lake.

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Where's the best place to gather black people to roleplay as prison victims for a documentary? Prison or the Graveyard.

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why did the boy call the girl a bitch? Because she was beautiful.

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Boy: Hey girl see these arms? They are just dying to be wrapped around you! She stabs him dead End of story

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What did one muffin say to the other Muffin? Nothing, muffins have no method of communication in any way shape or form

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I'm sorry but your child seems to have fractured his spinal column and can no longer control any part of his body below his neck.

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The other day I went to the holocaust museum and it was horrible No air conditioning or cold drinks

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What's black and hangs from trees in my backyard? Nothing. Blackberries grow on bushes and I do not condone hate crimes.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue There's suppose to be a fourth line.

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Q: What did the dog say to the owner when he took him to the vet? A: Nothing. It's a dog. It can't talk.

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=3

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human centipede

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Josh Groban, John Mayer, Ben Folds and Nick Cave are at an underground club that specialises in lithuanian folk music and siberian vodka. end of story

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Chris Bosh's neck

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Why did the Mexican jump the fence? He was at his neighbors house and it was shorter to cut through yards than to walk to his house

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what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

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if john has 400 cookies and eats 300 what does he have left? diabetes

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roses are grey violets are grey im a dog

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What do you get if you cross a bomb expert, and a homophob? a blowjob

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Wanna hear the most repeated joke on anti jokes? Why did [insert name here] fall off the swing? Because he/she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not [insert name here].

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What's facial hair? Hair that slowly progresses to grow out of certain areas on your face.

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What did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware River? "Men, we're crossing the Delaware River."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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