Santa Claus and eight reindeers walk into a bar. “Hey, fatty,” the barman shouts. “Where’s Rudolph?” “He’s dead,” Santa replied. “I’m sorry to hear that,” the barman said, looking embarrassed. “Let me get you a drink.”

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What's the difference between jumping off of a 2 story building and a 20 story building? You're more likely to die from the latter.

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Paris Hilton spend 2 whole days in the slammer due to possesion of narcotics. I would have gotten 20 to life... no... it's not funny...

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what does the doctor do when he tells you you have aids? he laughs and says "hahahahahhaha sucks for you, i dont!"

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What does the composer Berg lack? Schoen.

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What's the dumbest animal in the rainforest? A polar bear.

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Once ther was a happy little boy and he was just playing with his dinosaur when he was hit by the school bus that was supposed to take him to school. The End

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Scott Scott who? Scott Henderson. Oh my god Scotty! I haven't seen you since highschool, please come in.

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What kind of Mexican makes no money? A Mexican without a job.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to commit suicide

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A man with a broken arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "Yes, with proper medical attention and rest, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I broke my arm, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

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Why didn't Sammy Robertson make the world series catch to win the series in 1977? Because Sam, like many many discouraged teens in America, didn't follow his life long dream and later became a janitor at his hometown middle-school.

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What do you do i a stranger offers you candy? Make sure its not stale then jump in his van.

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You had 10 bricks on an airplane, you throw one. How many do you now have? 9. How do you get the elephant in the fridge? Open the fridge put the elephant in. How do you get the giraffe in the fridge? Open the fridge, take the elephant out, put the giraffe in. There was an animal meeting, all animals were invited. Which animal was missing? The giraffe, because he's still in the fridge. An old woman wants to cross a river that was full of crocodiles. How does she cross without getting eaten? The crocodiles were at the animal meeting, so she got across safely. She dies anyways. What happened? She was hit by the brick.

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So a pirate walks into a bar. He sits down, and orders a drink. After giving the pirate a drink, the bartender looks down and notices that there is a steering wheel on the pirate's penis. "Sir, are you aware that there is a steering wheel on your penis?" The bartender asked. "Arrrrrrr, it's driving me crazy!" The pirate replied. "Well you should probably get that checked out soon," said the bartender, "It looks very uncomfortable and could be dangerous to your health...not to mention your penis is out in the open." "Yes, you are probably right," the pirate agreed. He proceeded to get a ride from a friend to the nearest hospital, for drinking and driving can be dangerous, and steering wheels on penises are not safe.

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How do you get rid of Herpes? You can't.

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you're momma's so fat, and i like fat chicks. is she home?

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roses are red violets are blue i'm chinese and i don't know a joke pickle.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I felt like kicking something.

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What happened when Mark's hair died? He got depressed that he was growing old and the signs of it were showing.

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An African-American is working on math problems and notices an Asian man walking by. The African American asked,"Could you help me out on these math problems?" The Asian man replied, " I have never been good at math."

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Why did the elephant cross the road? Indiana Jones was riding on it to Pankot Palace

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He died of alcohol poisoning that day

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What's brown and sits in the woods? Winnie's poo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops