How can you tell if a dog is under your chair? Look under your chair

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what did one lady say to another lady we are both ladies

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Knock Knock Whos there 9/11 nine eleven who? You said you would never forget...

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. They then proceed to bake into tasty pastries which are then eaten for snacks or maybe a light breakfast.

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Q: What has no color, no shape, no size, and was born in your mind? A: The thought you just had about this anti-joke.

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Wife: "I suggest you check properly next time you lose your keys so that you find them quicker" Husband: "I suggest that next time I sit down and have a beer while I wait for Doc Martin and his time machine to give my keys back.

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It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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What did Stephen Hawking say to his daughter? Nothing, his illness prevents him from talking. And letting a high-tech wheelchair make human sounds isn't talking!!!

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An Aussie, American and Englishman were all drinking beer on a plane to Hawaii. All 3 of them were very excited for their vaction, which they all saved hard for and their breaks from work were well deserved.

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Far from, yet all organizations are money based and put capitalism in front of all, so if lets say, one organization, needs help from another, a money transaction is made, I play a role there, as a well... Diplomat, its not my title, but my title is something I cannot reveal to anyone, not even my wife, id be putting myself and people in danger, but since I master things such as hypnosis, I can well, influence people, this is how I can pull of favors myself. Not favors such as "kill that guy for me", but more like... In your case. "If you are going to kill the wizard, please let the rest be, I know they are good people"

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How do you kill Osama Bin Laden? Get The Navy Seals To Infiltrate his compound.

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Mom now that I am fourteen can I get a bra now? No Harold!

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Why did the elephant die? It was murdered by poachers for it's valuable ivory tusks.

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Why do jews have large noses? Genetics.

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How do you make a Flamingo cry? Hit it with a sledgehammer.

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Once upon a time there was a young teenager who was bullied a lot. She died 100 years ago.

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Why did the jew put a parking meter on his roof.? ....So santa would have to pay to park.

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Optimist: The glass is half full. Pessimist: The glass is half empty. Realist: Find something better to do than talk about a glass.

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What did Batman say to When they were heading to the Batmobile Robin get in the batmobile.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

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what happened to the girl that didn't forward the threatening chain text to ten people? nothing.

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Why was 95 lb jack able to chug so fast? Because he is a diabetic

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Q. There were 2 Mexicans in a car, who was driving it? A. The police officer.

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Why did the duck cross the road? Because he wanted to. Problem, AntiJoke community?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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