- Anti Joke

y do black people always have nightmares because we killed the one who had a dream

It works on whoever I have an emotional attachment with, for example people might be thinking you and I write in the exact same style, but I am actually copying your way of typing (spelling, word composition etc) this because we relate on a deep emotional level with people that like "get us" because they can act and behave like us. This again doubles the effect of the hypnosis, since when I get "super high on trance" and you feel that way, well, we both reach into the same wavelength, literally. Scientists and hypnotists supposedly have no idea as to why this happens, but I know, it is because our brain patterns are so similar, that even though we are at a long distance, your body believes itself to be an extension of mine and the other way around. How do I know this? Yogurt.

Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? it has no legs.

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

How did the fat guy survive the air crash? He was he was astronomically and improbably lucky.

What's the difference between michael jackson and casey anthony? Michael jackson's dead.

Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Watching your mum get sandwiched by two black guys...

deez nuts

Why did the penis cross the road? Because a man was humping the chicken

What do you call a cow painted in red a cat ( PS : i lied about the cow + the paint ! )

Q: Why did the white mother with a newborn baby lock her car doors? A: Because a black guy walked by.

What did the kid with cancer get for his birthday? Nothing he didnt make it that far

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was black.

What did Tarzan say to the elephant?... "Hi elephant." A few weeks later, the elephant had grown a mustache and gotten a pair of sunglasses. What did Tarzan say to him then?... Nothing, he didn't recognize him.

A man walks into a boar. The tusked beast accepts his apology.

Teacher:What is the outer layer of a tree? Dog:Bark. Teacher: What is the square root of 69? Dog:8.30662386

How do you make a kids parents mad? Fly an SR71-BLACKBIRD into him.

Q: What Would Canada Be With out Nature A: Peru

What's black and blue and hates sex? The 13 year old tied up in my basement.

Why was the black guy homeless? because he has been affected severely by the credit crunch, been made redundant and had his home repossessed

no rasist joks

Why did the chicken cross the road. grass was greener on the other side!

Why did the chicken cross the road? His family was experiencing financial troubles, and needed money. He tried applying for many jobs, but they just didn't quite work out. After ending up in the drug business to support his family, a deal went bad and he was shot, landing him in the hospital. The night his family arrived to check on him, the same shooter made his way to his room, and murdered his wife and 3 children, and somehow managed to evade police. Months after this incident, Ralph, the same chicken who was in the hospital and witnessed his family's murder, was finally released. He had nothing to live for, nothing to look forward to in the future. He took up alcohol abuse for some time, until realizing what truly had to be done. He began tracking down his family's killer, and with each day spent, he became closer and closer to discovering the dealer's whereabouts. One day, he finally figured out who it was. As he arrived at the killers' home, he took one last deep breath, then stormed in. After fighting through many of the dealers' body-gaurds, Ralph finally reached the notorious drug dealing murder, Froghorn Leghorn. As a bloody battle ensued, it was clear who the winner would be.. As Ralph staggered out of the destroyed home, bloodied, yet victorious, he realized something. All the tracking, all the killing, all the bloodshed he had created, was all in vain. He realized that taking Froghorn's life didn't, and wouldn't, bring his family back. Finding himself dumbfounded, he began to trot, head down, through the field where the bad drug deal happened, almost a year ago now. He took one last deep breath, looked at the stars, and took his first step on the road. This was it he decided, he was finally going to reunite with his family again once more. As the headlights raced towards him, he heard his family in unison whisper to him "You're finally home Ralph, you're finally home."

A kid goes into the ocean on a boogyboard and then gets eaten by a shark because the shark thought he was a seal.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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